Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, I found out my old high school class has a friend group on Facebook, so I applied to join but received a very frank and nasty message. Apparently they all remember me as “the Bullying Mean Girl” and all voted not to let me join. I was a nerd in high school and I was nice to everyone. FML
Today, after knowing my friendship group for 9 years, who were like my family, I found out that they actually hate me and have been trying to get me to go away for 5 years. When I left, they laughed at me, argued with me and their exact last words were, "K bye" and then kicked me out. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
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Top comments
Oxy_Moron 0
Imagine if your friends then decide not to show up... and then you end up being tickled by a bunch of total strangers lmao
justsayin21 0
that's hilarious. i hope the event is a success and you die.
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Comments (105)
alexandraa_fml 0
Lame.
YayAmerica 0
I'm pretty sure it's an ad lib. Today, I found out my ____ _____ are going to ________ me after ________ and attempt to _____ me to death. All because they know that I ______ to be _______. They are also going to make a ________ dedicated to the matter so ________ can join in if they wish. FML
GrapefruitZoe 0
It's Mad Lib. Ad lib is when you make up unimportant and often unheard lines in a play that aren't important. Re: tickling. That's vicious and cruel and evil. Call the cops.
YayAmerica 0
lol. thank you. i was wondering the difference.
Oxy_Moron 0
Imagine if your friends then decide not to show up... and then you end up being tickled by a bunch of total strangers lmao
ppriscilla 0
HA creeeepy..
eccentricchic 5
Lmao according to murphy's law that is very likely
justsayin21 0
that's hilarious. i hope the event is a success and you die.
goingdown_fml 0
^^^^ahahhhaaahhhaaa
kajolphagura 6
LMAO
acarolinagal 0
This is so crazy stupid... people are suffering in the world...some are homeless or hungry or sick... but you... you poor thing....you will be tickled. Poor you.... F Your life.... Really????? Seriously???? I am not sure if you are naive, self centered, stupid or crazy.... but, this is just insane that you would even post this as a FML.... and I can't even believe that the moderators posted it.
dudeitsdanny 10
This is more fun to read than "Today, I found out I may die from so-and-so disease. FML." We wanna laugh, not feel bad. Besides, what if OP does die? Will that make it a better FML? Learn to laugh =)
WTFsGoingOn 0
Tickling can be very traumatic. Trust me I'm a therapist ;)
justsayin21 0
advertising this "potentially traumatic" facebook event on FML makes it lame as hell.
WTFsGoingOn 0
I do have to back you up on the lame part.
alexandraa_fml 0
Do all....these periods.. make everything I say.... more dramatic???....
cherylface 13
#15: LOL, actually they do because in my head it sounds like William Shatner.
alexandraa_fml 0
Now men,.. we are about to go... on a very dangerous mission.... It is highly likely that one of you will die.... The crew that will go with me.. are Spock, McCoy ...and Ensign Ricky.
thesunshotme 0
Oh, lighten up. This site is supposed to be funny and lighthearted. FMLs don't have to be horrible tragedies.
showtimen0w 0
If it is not a horrible tragedy then why is it an FML? If its something stupid that wont really hurt you, then its not a big deal and you're life will not be... F'ed..
BritishHobo 0
Because FML isn't for people in third world countries to write 'Today, I haven't eaten in a week and I'm dying of dysentery. FML'. It's a FUNNY website. You want crushingly depressing tales of life, put the news on and stop whining.
effyoubitch 5
definitely have to agree with 50. well said!
alice_18 16
#4, This site is meant to be entertaining. It really doesn't matter if you dub it as a tragedy.
masanya 0
um...big ****** deal...
rolltide13 0
who all agrees that was the most retarted fml?
DrunkDave89 0
Clearly you haven't seen the one about having to wrap presents for a cat...
wolfpackchick10 0
Nah...have to agree that this one is a lot more stupid and a waste of time. Whoever is approving these needs to get on their work & stop letting the dumbest ones get by!!
fireandice27 0
Alongside "I agree, your life sucks" and "you totally deserved it" there should be another button saying "who really cares?"
SweetestSin 4
This has to be the stupidest shit I have read!!!
maibiz 0
Excuse me? That's CUTE. Really. My friends do silly stuff like that to me all the time. Better than friends who don't give a shit about ya.