Username
France
Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Rip it up and start again
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Anonymous
Out of the frying pan…
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
sofakingweetodit
United States
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
CarrieBerrie
Fire in the hole!
Today, after being woken up with the intense urge to go to the bathroom, and having gone to the bathroom three times in the last hour, I finally realized I took two laxatives instead of two Midol. My ass is on fire. FML
Rob
France
Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said, "Have fun!" FML
Anonymous
The Gush
Today, I had planned to do a twenty-minute colon cleanse enema for weight loss. Instead, I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable diarrhea that’s still going strong. Eight hours and counting. FML
Anonymous
United States
You need more fiber
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
Maddie
Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML
jack
London, United Kingdom
Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Top comments
Person1233 13
What the ****?!?
Taipan_fml 0
I didn't know Batman used that. Huh. Learn sumthin new every day.
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Comments (138)
Guerilla8 0
0.o What the ****?????????????????????
karina_said 0
think of the positive, at least it'll make you skinny ;)
edwak207 0
I need to poop but I'm at school and have a haircut client any time now 'public restroom phobia
dudeitsdanny 10
^^^^^^ Win
shananigans 0
xD I know it's shenanigans but my name is Shannon. So Shananigans is my nickname.
PedoBearSaysYES 0
YES!!! ******* YES!!! lol
gokumania123 0
first
UberFail79 0
Incorrect. You, sir, shall now be referred to as "lamez0r n00b".
Foxy_On_Fire 21
that's funny
benen 0
never use batmans name in vein!!!!
lawlren 0
it's "Vain", R-tard. "Vein" has to do with the circulatory system. Later are you going to go prey to god?
timk_fml 2
lol shit lol