Today, I found a diaper in the parking lot. It's been raining all morning. This was the wrong day to wear flip-flops. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took the last parking spot in a crowded lot, got out feeling victorious, then immediately stepped in a puddle deep enough to soak my foot all the way through to my sock. FML
Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML
Today, I got a diaper rash from a pad. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML
Today, at work in a library, I found a dirty diaper stuffed under one of the public use computer desks. Not only was it leaking, but it had been run over several times by a rolling office chair. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, it's raining pretty hard and there are a bunch of puddles everywhere. I’m in a full rain suit and great boots, so instead of walking around the puddles, I decided to walk through the biggest one, only to drop down 4 feet, all because the city didn’t cover up a massive manhole. FML
Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThePaperDragon 31
Flip flops in the rain? At least it may wash off with the weather.
AviKerensky 17
Every person needs four pairs of shoes: Tennis shoes, boots, flip-flops, and dressy shoes. Wear the right pair for the right occasions and you'll never regret it. Hopefully, you learned when not to wear flip-flops.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
vixsin 22
How did this make it past moderation? Terribly disconnected.
Zotti 11
every day is a bad day to wear flip flops.
Bragi 12
Don't wear flip-flops. Ever.
Catdragon 40
were you perhaps in Kentucky at the time? at an art exhibit?
stressengr 13
It's ALWAYS the wrong day to wear flip flops. They make you walk like a duck and scream of a lack of self respect.
childproofpizza 19
yeah I found a diaper when I was doing cart returns. people need to use trash cans