Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML
Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML
Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML
Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML
Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
Today, I locked myself out while taking the trash downstairs. I was wearing pajamas, slippers, and a winter coat over nothing else. My neighbor offered to help, then spent ten minutes trying not to laugh while I explained that my keys were sitting on the kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
gun6slinger9 9
Well op it looks like you are also dating a doorknob
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Ask him why the key to his car doesn't open others cars that are the same as his.
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Comments (85)
aimeegoldberg 22
*facepalm*
Jst4kicks 16
I think its time you sit him down for "the talk"
PinkieKeen 20
The talk? How does sex have to do with anything
ikilledaman 9
Maybe she needs to explain that just because women have the same parts, and (most of the time) can be opened with different 'keys', doors do not apply.
LithFlavored 10
Well op I hope you answered him. Was a legit question, and he is your bf. Even though it might have been a little left field.
chosha_fml 27
In no way a legit question. An embarrassingly stupid question.
LithFlavored 10
Well in his mind I'm sure it was or he wouldn't have asked it. I find it hard to believe he was acting daft on purpose
emilyjgraham 34
I agree here. If he has had no reason to ever believe different why would he think so? He may not have common sense but there's many people that don't so I don't see why they just don't try and make it work with each other instead of dumping him. People with no common sense can be quite entertaining sometimes! :)
chosha_fml 27
Yes, in the mind if a stupid person it probably did seem like a reasonable question. Normal people would know that if one key opened every house in the neighborhood, there'd be no reason to ever lock your door.
Enslaved 38
Funny how these past 2 FMLs are talking about different types of knobs. :P
buckdharma 38
Yes, one allows you to come and go, the other usually cums and goes.
crazytrainer 5
Sign him up for a locksmith's course
aintlifeapain 21
Well, it's a knobbly situation you are in. Try explaining. If it doesn't work...change the knob..err the guy.
aintlifeapain 21
Pardon me for asking my friend, but are you into some literature course? You keep spewing Shakespeare and old English, and I never quite grasp what is it that you actually want to say.
Shadowbay 18
I asked that when I was little... guess no one told him any better.
aintlifeapain 21
1. I am not your dear, you are actually creeping me out. 2. Your grammar sucks. 3. You have a Shakespeare fetish. Act it out in private. I don't want to know. 4. This is a FML in itself.
buckdharma 38
I don't see too many doors opening for this one, but he sounds adoorable.