Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML
Today, I finally saw a dermatologist due to my unusually severe acne. Now I know I actually have a rare disorder that makes me allergic to my own acne. FML
Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, my dentist kept staring at me with a worried expression while working on me. Concerned that something was wrong with my teeth, I asked her what was the matter. She replied, "I'm not a dermatologist, but you should go to a doctor, I think you have staph." She was referring to my acne. FML
Today, I got a new skin cream for my acne. I tested it on a small patch of skin just to make sure I wasn't allergic. I was, and the reaction didn't stay on that small patch of skin. My left arm is now almost entirely covered in a horrible rash. FML
Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left ribcage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML
Today, I noticed a random dark spot on my skin around my groin area. Fearing that it was possibly melanoma, even though I don't really go outside a lot, I made a mad dash to the doctor. Apparently it's just a fucked-up stretch mark, and is perfectly normal. Nice thing to have a panic attack over. Good job, brain. FML
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Top comments
Feklfekl2222 32
At least you know now before it does any permanent damage
dman798 18
Better on your stomach than somewhere else
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Comments (79)
Tinyprancer 4
Are you sure it's not herpes zoster, more commonly known as shingles? This is not an STI, but rather comes from the chicken pox virus which lies dormant in your body. This would be more likely especially if it's painful and mostly on one side of your body.
TheCurvyGamer 17
Herpes isn't bad. I learned that from Adam Ruins Everything. 90% of the world has some form of herpes. OP, you'll be fine.
NotUnique 15
I love Adam ruins everything!
noisyboy4000 23
I'm glad other people watch that besides me lol
stitesy29 18
Indeed. Great show.
MangoLoco 22
I love that episode :)
ChunkyBuiscuit 13
90% of the world's adult population has herpes. So don't worry. It's not harmful other than the symptoms.
KingAdrock 16
THIS. On top of that when people say "herpes" they usually only mean GENITAL herpes. Oral or other non-genital herpes doesn't have the same stigma, despite being the exact same thing. If herpes does *anything*, which in the case of most people it doesn't (most people have no symptoms) the worst herpes does is give you cold sores. Oooh no, red bumps. The world will clearly end. Except not. Honestly, all versions of herpes are bullshit and nobody should care about it. And for the record: no, I don't even have herpes.
l3g10n 10
I think herpes is better than ringworm... don't worry it will clear up soon!
NickACD 27
Isn't Herpes incurable?
TheNoNameGuy 20
... Herpes is not better
Omfgitsmia 15
Your picture with your comment is perfect.
Vlen_fml 20
it depends on the strain of herpes, this most likely is just chicken pox.
Ipsum629 13
contrary to popular belief, herpes is harmless. also, 90% of people have it.
Badkarma4u 17
Citation needed
michaelm1290 23
Contrary to your belief, herpes is NOT harmless. There are significant complications that can happen, including neonatal encephalitis, meningitis and zoster opthalmicus, to name a few. In addition, should someone have a defective immune system or be on immunosuppressive drugs, they too will experience vastly more significant complications from the various herpes viruses, with possibilities of pneumonia, esophagitis, encephalitis, adrenal gland destruction and disseminated disease.
Patriots21 14
The doctor has spoken, let all those large words marinate for a minute.
amourmourant 18
*to the vast, vast majority of people it is... Harmless.
GeorgiaBea 28
This is entirely false and dangerous to spread as truth. It can be extremely dangerous- esp to babies who have no immune response. It causes brain swelling and is fatal. Anyone who has herpes should be taking anti virals and women should be tested in the third trimester... It is horrifying to watch a child suffer through that.
thatoneguy1111 15
You're an idiot. Speaking as someone who has it from a sport the only thing that happens is I get small bumps on my ear that itch. It's not a std and wouldn't due any harm to any future children. The worst possible thing that happens is someone touching it while I have an outbreak and I'm sweating or bleeding and they get it. Which never happens because I watch if closely
GeorgiaBea 28
Sorry you took offense, but I know for a fact that getting herpes on your body during the end stages of pregnancy can be fatal to babies. That is how my niece died. My sister got it from working with a patient who had it, during the last three weeks of her pregnancy. She got really sick and my niece lived for 11 days in horrible pain while her organs slowly failed... For most adults the herpes virus is mildly annoying because we have immune systems that help us. As stated above- babies and immuno-compromised people are going to have a rough go of it...
thatoneguy1111 15
But babies will not necessarily have it because of the type she has. If that happened every person who has cold sores on there mouth would pass it on. I'm sorry that your niece and family went through this but the herpes she had would have to be different than what op has.
bad_boyfriend 10
This isn't going to be a popular statement, but herpes isn't that big of a deal. I know people who are married, one has herpes the other doesn't. They just don't rub together vigorously during outbreaks.
ThrottleJockey 36
Isn't that how babies are made?
kimiirenee 17
I have herpes. It's not the end of the world (:
SpartanMerc 18
Very true, there are many misconceptions about herpes. Doing some research on the subject may not make anyone an expert, but it can enlighten the dimmer ones.
writerchic85 26
That's sucks, but it's really not the worst thing you could have. They can keep it under control with medicine. And it's not fatal or debilitating or anything. At least you didn't get something more serious.
NickACD 27
Whoops, accidentally clicked "I agree your life sucks"
ThrottleJockey 36
Just in time for Valentine's day! The gift that keeps on giving! I'd recommend wrapping it first though.
interstellar2017 6
Wrong herpes, jockstrap.