Today, I went to the doctor to ask what the weird white lump was on my back, and if it was cancer. He told me it was the biggest pimple he'd ever seen. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML
Today, I finally went to the doctor's office to have a small patch of acne on my stomach looked at. Since it was in an almost perfect circle and abnormally sensitive, I was worried it could be ringworm or some other sort of skin infection. It turned out to be an infection alright. Herpes. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the man I've been seeing, and he started caressing the mammoth of all pimples on my back. He continued fondling me while lecturing me on the dangers of skin cancer. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, there is a huge lump on my neck. I thought it was a boil, but it didn't seem to hurt at all, nor was it bothersome. It wasn't until my mom pointed out its existence and size one too many times that I started to feel uncomfortable, and now suddenly I can't sleep at all. FML
Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I have a new scar on my chin, which is still very sensitive to pressure. So, naturally, my body considers this the perfect spot for growing what feels like the world’s biggest pimple. FML
Today, I woke up early and went to the dermatologist's, only to have them tell me that the skin condition I have that causes big, white spots to appear is chronic and I can do nothing about it. But they did give me cream for a different skin condition they found. FML
Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML
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Top comments
Eashy 16
Well at least you don't have cancer
cacheson 42
Maybe you should submit it as s Guinness world record.
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Comments (17)
Eashy 16
Well at least you don't have cancer
aquapearl736 16
That's a really pessimistic way of looking at being told that you don't have cancer...
aquapearl736 16
That's a really pessimistic way of looking at being told that you don't have cancer...
cacheson 42
Maybe you should submit it as s Guinness world record.
ZoroMiHawk 25
better to know
AnthonyCS5 19
Eeeewwwwwww! Just Ew!
blahblahla 7
While those are great news, its still nasty as hell!
Akitakat 31
Have the doc put it on video & onto YT. There are people who love watching zits & blackheads popped.
brendejafulable 41
Me me meeeeee
brendejafulable 41
Me me meeeeee
Yudith 28
Have a baker prepare cupcakes in the likeness of your zit to celebrate the fact that you do not have cancer! Apparently, when you squeeze them, French vanilla custard comes out.
onceuponatime456 16
Why would you think a white lump is cancer?