Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
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Top comments
people_annoy_me 23
What a bad shituation you're in.
SpartyOnWayne 18
Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit
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Comments (57)
persianchick 13
" locate the source of smell" it sounds like you planted a bomb or some shit xD
worldclassrager 41
So people were following you like dogs? Or at least trying to...
NostalgiaFreak9 43
You might need to find a new supermarket.
LycanGod 27
always do it near the exit of the store lol. or their washroom. in case of emergencies
inolongercare 19
You know the saying "never trust a fart". It is a true saying.
trevorr_16 25
If there was some serious has building up, why didn't you use the restroom? More than likely, it's gonna be more than a fart.
stumpyj 10
YDI for not going to the bathroom. Stop farting in public, please.
s0728 17
Why didn't you just go to restroom? Then you could fart or poop, and either way it'd be okay.
nightfall8705 33
Story time, folks! One time, my brother and I were standing in line at a Walmart (of course!) and it was a really long line, but fortunately, there was only one man in front of us. He kept looking around all nervous and suspicious, and he was fumbling with getting his debit card to work. I was talking to my brother, and suddenly, in mid sentence, I was hit by a brick wall of stank. It was one of the most rancid things I had ever smelt, and it immediately made me start coughing. I heard coughing and gagging behind me, and people saying "ugh, oh my God, it smells like rotten shit!" The teenaged girl behind me said her eyes began to water because of the smell. The man in front of us looked around again all nervous-like and then proceeded to make a strange face. The cashier lady just stared at him. He then took his bags in his hand, and scurried off as fast as he could go. When I stepped up to the counter to place my items on it, the cashier lady said to me, "I think that man shit his pants." I said, "I think so too." The cashier lady looked horrified. The smell was that bad. Moral of the story - It's embarrassing, but it happens to everyone. You may need to shop somewhere else for a little while, OP. Just be glad you didn't run into 50 million people you know in the grocery store. It would be hard to live that shart down then... so consider yourself lucky, and never trust a fart, ever.
NotFrench_AtAll 11
Never & I mean Never, Hold in a fart. Always let one go and just casually walk to an area where there's minimal to no people . I feel your pain though.