Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, while studying in the library, I felt a sudden urge to pass gas. There were not too many people around, so I let it go while in my seat and it went unnoticed. What caught the attention of everybody was the puddle slowly forming under my seat. Turns out, I farted so hard I pissed myself. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our local supermarket. Ten feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants' legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new supermarket, maybe a new town. FML
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Top comments
people_annoy_me 23
What a bad shituation you're in.
SpartyOnWayne 18
Love is like a fart: if you have to force it, it's probably shit
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Comments (57)
pete9913 23
Shart aside, I laughed picturing everyone looking for the source of the smell. FYL for the shart though.
ghetto_child 19
with a mildly disgusted look on your face, act as if you can smell it as well while you walk out
ryannmichael 17
That's why you wear diapers ;)
tarlax 11
Not cool, dude. The stigma for adult diaper wearers is bad enough without you adding to MrConcise's misery.
cuppycakeslove 20
The drive home must've been awful, I'm sorry :-(
sturschaedel 27
Going to a bathroom for a massive fart is not just a courtesy to your fellow humans, it is a security measure for your pants.
obliviongillette 18
I laughed so hard at this op! I'm sorry that you shit yourself but this made my shitty night not seem so bad after all.
Xion0014 20
Whoever smelled it dealt it!
joshi42 16
"tried to locate the source of the smell" - butt sniffing???
cowsgowoof 9
ha you suck
ariasmake1 9
Shit happens!