Today, I felt like Cinderella. No, I didn't lose a shoe in public. Nor did I dance with Prince Charming. But I did get a visit from tiny wild mice in my home. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML
Today, I realised that I'm kinda living the life of a Disney princess, because I'm lonely and all my friends are animals. Yes, I also talk to them. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
Today, I was sitting on my couch when I felt something weird underneath me. I got up, thinking I'd sat on my phone or something. Wrong. I'd sat on a live mouse. FML
Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML
Today, my pet mouse demonstrated that he has bigger balls than my boyfriend, by running across the dinner table and eating off his plate, all while he jumped out of his chair, screaming like a girl. FML
Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML
Today, I had to shave my feet in order to wear ballet flats. I'm not a hobbit. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UncleCaitlyn 21
Did they sing and dance and make you a dress. If not I'm seeing a problem
Miss_Chevious 37
What, no fairy god mother?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (31)
The_Skittish_One 27
Did they at least help you with your chores?
Queen_of_Night 20
Had that problem in my military dorm. Little bastards ate my Hershey kisses. I was all evil queen after that. No dwarves to save them and no furry prince charming to wake them after a sniff of booby trapped peanut butter. *and before someone snaps at me, I left my dorm every few days for a few days to a week at a time. No roommates. Any mouse I caught would have likely died from dehydration in a humane trap.*
FlashlightBob 13
Hmm. I think that's what they made mouse traps for, maybe try those?
hellnosucka 27
really? I always assumed mouse traps were just funky cheese platters.
BlackBoyFly 11
I deeply enjoy how well written that was.
One_Way 43
Me too. It's a rather common problem, happens to all of us, but she puts a great spin on it.
SolidSteak 5
Big ******* deal. Cry louder and maybe they'll go away out of sheer annoyance.
TMWhisp 22
You ok?
JHamm2121 15
Really?? This constitutes an FML?
RedPillSucks 33
did you at least have a fairy queen?
interesting33 37
Brilliantly written!
everythingelena 28
Well, at least you felt like Cinderella without having to pay a good amount of money for an actual trip to Disney to feel like a princess
Etweens96 25
Peppermint oil! Works all the time! I had a week where 3 mice got in my house (fortunately I got cats) but we bought peppermint oil and haven't seen hide or tail of them since