Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, I went to a yoga class, thinking it would be good for my stiff calf from running. I pulled my back out doing the downward dog. Now can't get out of bed. FML
Today, I started yoga to help with my stress and overall health. I also got a "hit by a truck" migraine in the middle of my second downward dog pose, and spent the last 20 minutes of the 30 minute lesson curled up in fetal position on my new yoga mat. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, I went to a yoga class for the first time in a few years. When I went to change afterwards, I realized I'd split my pants at some point during the class. I think I understand why the girls behind me were laughing so hard now. FML
Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I thought I was joining a “Beginner Yoga” class, but it turned out to be advanced hot yoga. I lasted six minutes before falling out of a pose, knocking over two water bottles, and crawling out of the room like a wounded crab. FML
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Top comments
khorstmye 15
Your hips don't lie
Welshite 40
Yoga is all about yielding. It's goes against the very principle of yoga to force your body into a position it's not ready for.
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Comments (50)
GhostFox 34
As someone who has repeated hip dislocations and subluxations, I really have to caution you against forcing stretches- my own issues are due to a genetic issue, not injury, but over stretching muscles can cause them in even healthy individuals. And the week of bed rest is hell, the pain more so.
catherinecas 30
Ohhh is it Ehlers-Danlos?
karmaweasel 14
Ah, yes-the joys of EDS. I was just at the doctor today for a little chat. I've dislocated my jaw yawning, popped out my shoulders putting on my seatbeat, my elbow picking up a jug of milk. I also get crazy scarring and muscle spasms- the latest I just figured out (after 15 years!) are my pupils. It's why I've never been able to see well, even with glasses. My pupils will spasm throughout the day, causing my RX to change. But yes, crazy flexible until suddenly you aren't.
GhostFox 34
It is indeed EDS. I have the dubious honor of having had every major joint dislocate or subluxate to some degree, and most of my minor joints as well. My spinal discs are included in the list of body parts that refuse to cooperate. I was also originally misdiagnosed and wound up with two unnecessary surgeries, one on each shoulder. Which has me stuck with a "likely lifelong" weight lifting restriction of 10lbs using both arms. I am slowly working towards a full suit of splints and braces due to the frequency of them. Then there is the constant risk of blacking out because you decide to stand up. I very much empathize with you, 42. My own ocular issues from it have, luckily, been thus far limited to strabismus that was luckily caught when I was young enough to correct non-surgically, and very severe photophobia. Interesting to know there is another EDS patient on the site/app. :)
catherinecas 30
Yup and it can affect your hearing too! My hearing fluctuates all day! And I too was misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia for fears before they figured out I have EDS and an unrelated pain condition.
brklynzwolf 14
Ugh yoga is not competitive, not everyone's body can do the same, this is because of the compression due to the way our skeleton (bones) are shaped. Ditch that class and find a better instructor, I say this because you can seriously hurt your sciatic nerve- take it from me a professional Hatha yoga instructor
subscript 15
http://youtu.be/6mRQ6eCMbNI
Critical9496 10
If you can't push them down in the butterfly, then you are very stiff!!
Xion0014 20
This made me cringe.
breezyni99les 0
Eds is a cold hard bitch. I suffer too.. Warrior on! I'm afraid of yoga.