Today, I took my dogs to the park and sat in the grass while they played. Within the first half hour two male dogs peed on my back. The first owner apologized and gave me a wipe to clean up while the second one had the nerve to tell me "this is why I bring a chair" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Today, I'm dog-sitting. To give the pooches some exercise, I took them on a long walk through the fields, where they run, play, and sniff around to their hearts’ content. Thirty seconds after coming back home, one of them made a ginormous puddle right on my living room floor. FML
Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML
Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is two miles away from the park. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while dogsitting for a friend, I took their overly excitable dog to the park. The moment I unleashed him, he bolted, and I ended up chasing him for what felt like miles. When I finally caught him, I was covered in mud and my pants had a huge tear in them. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Welp, looks like those two dogs own you now.
General_Cool 24
That is not only nasty, but rude. This is why idiots shouldn't be allowed into parks with their dogs.
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Comments (41)
nadiabjensen 15
I would have been really "pissed" off!
Tripartita 45
I don't know f anybody else caught this, but "pissed" is another word for "peed," so it's sort of a joke. It's pretty subtle, so a lot of people are probably scratching their heads, trying to figure out exactly what #1 is talking about.
metalcrazed 21
Everyone understood it jusi isn't funny.
whysobeachy 37
I'm not sure whether Tripartita is playing Captain Obvious, or whether he genuinely thought people weren't understanding the pun here.
Zebediabolical 45
I would have upvoted this if it weren't in quotes. We're not stupid, y'know.
gotaplanstan 28
no 1, you would've been pissed ON
SkoomaKi 28
Welp, looks like those two dogs own you now.
whysobeachy 37
OP's gender checks out.
pjsr 33
Only the last one counts
General_Cool 24
That is not only nasty, but rude. This is why idiots shouldn't be allowed into parks with their dogs.
Bunnyluver 20
Nope, idiots just shouldn't have dogs.
IWeigh2Tons 12
At least that "idiot" is smart enough to bring a chair to sit on so dogs don't piss on him.
Colon_Man 17
You "bring a chair" to smash over negligent dog owner heads.
whysobeachy 37
That sounds like a great way to get in trouble.
Colon_Man 17
That's what feet are for. Getting away.
ssnow_fml 20
I'd turn around a pee on the dog.
whysobeachy 37
And what if the dog runs away? Will you give chase?
pjsr 33
Today I took my dog to enjoy a peaceful day at the park. As soon as we got there, I see some guy chasing a dog with his dick hanging out. FML
cutiepie292929 18
Is it a sprinkler, is it rain...no, it's dog pee!
Kevin55_fml 11
Edward Thorndike's Law of effect states that any behavior that is followed by pleasant consequences is likely to be repeated, and any behavior followed by unpleasant consequences is likely to be stopped... Makes me wonder how you got peed on not once, but twice.
krazy789 28
Am i the only one wondering why OP got peed on twice? I mean i would've left after the first time and showered but thats just me
Magnoxidans 19
After the first dog, you still thought it was a good idea to sit down?
JCWolfGirl 14
hi, I'm the OP. thank you guys for helping my post get posted! I think the second dog peed on me because he smelled the pee of the first dog and wanted to be dominant. and i stayed sitting because I figured it wouldn't happen again. I kept an eye on any dog that got behind me and pushed them away if they got too close. I didn't want to stay standing for the remainder of the hour and a half I would be there as it takes time to wear out my dogs.