Today, I fell asleep while on the toilet at work. When I woke up, I tried to quietly sneak back to my desk, only to be caught by my boss. He immediately sent me packing and gave his "best wishes" for me in the unemployment line. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on the toilet, and then had to give my boss a valid reason for why I was late. FML
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML
Today, my boss left early, so I decided to take an extended break and run home. I found my wife in bed with my boss. I got fired for leaving work. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work. I got woke up by my boss with a coffee and a referral letter. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML
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Top comments
obviousboy 8
YDI simply because of your username.
xoxokelsey11 5
How long could you have been sleeping in there? Must've been comfortable.
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Comments (196)
rcgirl2 11
You should've tried to explain to him where you were. You could've at least put up a fight.
1soda1pOp1 6
Your boss has no tolerance for crap.
hipsterhunter 9
I see what you did there ^^
lajaynay 15
You don't say?
BuffaloSabres134 8
You'll find a better job, everything happens for a reason.
MURIKKA 11
So I take it the Holocaust happened for a reason?
themarshal_fml 6
There was a reason: a madman.
ccovey 2
You lack perspective
ALpein 0
I like to think that the holocaust was a lesson about the terrors of the vulnerabily of a country and the worst that can happen.
EpicSquishii 21
Lol i fell asleep at work this morning at my desk and my boss just gave me her 5-hour Energy shot and giggled about how hyper and talkative I became. It's fun working at a casino
ALpein 0
What a fantastic story. Really enthralling.
EpicSquishii 21
Did I bore you? My mistake, snookums. Please forgive my one inane and pointless tale in this sea of poignant retellings and shining examples of literary genius. 'Twas certainly not my intention. Here, have the rest of my sandwich. It's roast beef
ALpein 0
I am man enough to admit defeat. Touche my friend.
graffitied_love 20
Maybe you should get a night job. That way it would be slightly understandable to fall asleep on the job :D
Laksejohn 2
No, no it won't. It's never okay to sleep @ work, your paid to do a job, so that's what you should do. Unless its a sleeping night watch. Like with care taking of disabled people.
Poetrylover102 6
Google lets its employees sleep on the job. So do many other corporations. Sleeping on the job is actually being encouraged at more and more businesses due to higher productivity being seen in people that get a nap in during the day vs. those that work straight through without any rest breaks.
DocBastard 40
I have to assume you have a time-sensitive job like air traffic control or emergency services operator. Either that or you have a history of sleeping on the job and fully deserve to get canned.
abouttosleep 5
True, but then one noted to look at her username. And your second claim magically becomes much more realistic than the first. They way she said it made it look that she already know she's about to get fired anyways
klovemachine 24
Keep up the commenting, doc. You are very funny :) by the way, I love your blog!
BeccaHugs 17
OP got canned for being on the can.
xmaximusx 12
Lol should have offered the boss a ******* !
unknown_user5566 27
So she can have sexual harassment charges on top of losing her job? That's a fantastic idea!
olpally 33
That's what you call an absolute failure at a joke/comment^^ op wouldn't be able to do that because she's passed out to begin with and has already been fired... Moron...
kingas611 0
haha funny shittt lmao
mvems 13
A ******** for blowing at her job?
mariah_victoria 0
I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE! [x
pattipan 7
I'm sorry but I have no sympathy for anyone who falls asleep while at work. Speaking as a supervisor, we have enough trouble getting this generation of lazy employees to do a decent day's work without them sneaking in a nap on the crapper. It is not unreasonable for your company to expect you to remain conscious on their time.
NIRVANA1990s 1
did he think you were spanking the ferret?
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
OP is a girl. Schlick schlick schlickity schlick schlick.
chevonfinley 8
OP is a female, so it wouldn't be spanking so much as petting.
pastywhitekid 10
We had one guy at my job who would sneak off and sleep in the handicap stall. The guy spent more time avoiding work than actually doing his job. Not to sound like a douche op, but I cannot imagine accidentally dozing off on the crapper. I have to say ydi
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I seriously have been so tired that I've dozed in the bathtub AND on the toilet.
CaptTeemo 10
The bathtub is comfy, I don't find it that hard to fall asleep in a bathtub
pastywhitekid 10
I'm not saying it is not possible, just that to do so for any period of time at work would be irresponsible.