Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
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Top comments
alstbv12 13
At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.
AugustBurnsToast 14
You are the weakest link.
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Comments (124)
mgg058 4
Lmao WIMP !
pexy_fml 16
You win ?
pexy_fml 16
For those complaining about if it's 2 or 3, we are not in court it just a fun thing, don't cry and make a big deal no one is going to blame you for not saving the holy truth
hateevryone 15
Well you win then.
TheNinjaBacon 8
Only two? Man, thats wat i eat on a normal basis!!! U must be skinny or something!
trillwill19 2
This made me straight up laugh out loud for some reason....
writergirl23 19
On the bright side, they won't make you fat
belbreanna 2
Accomplishment!
CoconutSoup 5
Just shut up NoorFML
SkoomaKi 28
^ You shut up, ever commented while you're sleep deprived and falling asleep? - it's not pretty. Cut her some slack you jackass.