Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alstbv12 13
At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.
AugustBurnsToast 14
You are the weakest link.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (124)
BrennaDeen 6
Am I the only one that first read "hedgehog eating contest?"
katcot99 11
Yes, you are.
calivianya 29
I would have LOVED to see the expressions on the other contestant's faces finding their potential food covered in vomit. Did anyone keep eating after that?
Brak61 5
Unless you're a 98# Japanese girl give it up. It's always somebody who looks they never eat who wins these things, not the big fat guys.
BaconBoy75 2
Just like that scene in "Stand By Me"! Radical.
perdix 31
I didn't know there was defense involved in competitive eating. I'll bet your puke-and-tumble maneuver took out at least three competitors on each side of you. When you cleared them out, you had clear sailing to victory! (You'd better not have been given credit for the puked-up dogs, but given honorable mention for pounding the puked-on ones.)
Marcella1016 32
"I made it up to 2" means...he made it up to 2! Sorry I don't know how else to say it lol. Try getting some sleep :P
vbmg152 19
Hot dogs are gross! Come over to the vegetarian side!
MerrikBarbarian 9
But... There is veggie hot dogs on that side. :p
thewickedwitch 6
this sounds FAKE! c'mon, anyone can chow down two hotdogs. and if you can't, why enter the contest in the first place?
JuuChan 3
I'm sorry, but this cracked me the hell up! XD
wickedwyatt234 3
Drama queen