Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML
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Top comments
alstbv12 13
At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.
AugustBurnsToast 14
You are the weakest link.
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Comments (124)
Tektite 14
I'd make it to 4.. Of course I'd take my time eating them or I'd be the one choking lol
icallbullshit 3
Weeeeeaaaaaakkkkk, so pathetically weak. Two hotdogs man, for real? On another note did you even practice?
luckyd880 12
Well duh you did it wrong, your supposed to dip the buns in water and eat them and then eat the dogs. C'mon every American knows that! We are famous for eating large quantities of processed foods. Team USA! -_-
zack11289 3
Dafuq? Water.......really?
challan 19
I saw one at a state fair once, and they DO dip the buns in water! Quite gross in my opinion! The whole thing was gross, but oddly exciting. You get caught up in the freaky crowd.
pbonham 22
I hate hotdogs :/
Ugi 27
I can't imagine what would possess anyone to enter a hotdog eating contest at the best of times but surely you would only do it if you actually like eating hotdogs. What were you thinking?
kzxvazure 0
noob!:P
klorehore 24
kinda feel you were lucky with that one, you're better off without stuffing your face full like that.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Food eating contests are probably not your best way to make money. I'm not even remotely a big eater, but 2 hot dogs? Geeze that's an average meal size for me. Trick to eating contests- go in hungry and thirsty so your stomach is empty. Minimize how much you drink during the contest. This gives your stomach maximum room. Eat fast so your body doesn't have time to realize its full. I never go into contests, but I get my money's worth at all you can eat buffets :p
thelastavailable 13
Any contest involving eating is literally the last thing the USA needs.
Knash 3
Were you nervous or do you just not like hotdogs?