Today, I egged my cheating ex’s car. Actually, I should clarify; I egged my cheating ex’s sister’s car, thinking it was his. She gave me a black eye and knocked out two of my teeth while my ex laughed his ass off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, my sister told me her ex-boyfriend abused her and I went to go confront him. Turns out, she lied because he dumped her after she cheated on him. I got my ass kicked. FML
Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML
Today, I didn't think getting egged was a thing anymore until I found that my car got egged. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating, so she smashed me in the head with her handbag so hard my eyeball is red from a burst blood vessel. I followed her home, where she tried to pretend she knew nothing, it wasn’t her I'd seen, she’d been home all day. I had to get the cops to drag her out my house. FML
Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
Today, I can admit I was wrong for cheating but my psycho ass ex took her revenge too damn far. Instead of cheating back or going wild with her girlfriends or breaking up with me, she called the authorities on my parents and had them deported. FML
Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and the words "Fuck you." Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML
Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
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Top comments
PhantomCrevan 8
This is why trying to take physical revenge against exes is never worth it. Something always goes wrong, or it doesn't impact them as enough to make the resulting trouble worth it. Now, then having to see you move on with your life and not crumble into despair or rage? THAT gets under the skin of people like that. They do what they do to destroy you, and when they don't get the result they want, they lose it.
WeirdUS 30
Sorry That he cheated, but physical revenge usually doesn’t end well and if the eggs permanently damaged his car paint he could sue you for damage. Cheating on a gf or bf isn’t illegal, however damaging property is. YDI.
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Comments (26)
Paul De Boor 8
This shows that you are not mature enough to be in a serious relationship.
Glowworm56 27
Seems you tried a variation Carrie Underwood's advice for revenge. Instead of next time he'll think before he cheats--next time you'll think before you egg someone's car.
Razell 13
The proper adult response to a bad breakup is to cut the ex out of your life, and not acknowledge the ex's existence. Vandalism is not a proper adult response.
mt21mt 15
...and what did you hope to gain, even if it was his car?
SamanthaThe1st 23
You seriously don't recognize your ex's car by now?
Tony Friddle 11
bitch
clair_brodie 35
What he did sucks but YDI for being childish.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Your ex is an asshole for cheating, don’t get me wrong there, but what you did is considered vandalism. The mature thing you could’ve done was just walking away from that asshole and cutting him out of your life for good.
TeachAllTheMath 19
I’m surprised you were with him long enough to me very upset about him cheating, but don’t know his car.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Ugh you deserve it! My dads ex broke my windows in my car poured wine EVERY where! Dad and I had the same Volvo wagons I beat the hell of the fool. such revenge is only for song lyrics