Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML
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Top comments
HappyPanda2016 14
I hope you mean ex-girlfriend.. And ex-friend. -_-
Sinamoi 18
Saved you the trouble of having to discover who she really was before you did take that big step in your relationship. Send her ass a packin' and find someone worthy of a healthy relationship.
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Comments (163)
wsdarrah 14
I'm sorry OP. :( If she would do that to you then she doesn't deserve you. I hope you find someone much better.
ICastillo 25
Reasonable explanation, she tripped, he fell and both their clothes ripped off and he fell on top of her...
DarthVader77 9
Man, you rock! Loved your comment!
Tali147 16
That has happened to me before. Completely plausible.
PenguinBitch 44
It just shows how quickly people you trust can stab you in the back. You deserve better OP.
bach2121 13
What a ****. Hope you dumped that piece of shit...
jennuhm 4
Nothing to say about the friend? Really?
BlueFlatts 20
Kick his ass! But you might want to wait till later so you won't have to fight a naked guy.
bach2121 13
Get ******
Lucia_Malpense 14
Hey, zero YDI! (At time of posting) Guess even the trolls figure that there's no way OP deserved it.
Catkam623 27
54 now I bet it's the badge hunters who always hit both.
evig_fml 16
Or it's possible they presume he deserves it because they believe he should have known the type of person he was in a relationship with. Not my opinion but its possible and I could see how some could click YDI
lilhellian 27
I totally clicked YDI because he didn't use the 'ICheat'... /sarcasm..
dancinwookie 21
You either have incredibly horrible timing, or it's not her first ride at that particular rodeo. Both are no bueno.
Enslaved 38
What a great friend! I bet he was just breaking her in for you. Kinda like an untamed horse.
lilhellian 27
One does not simply tame a pussy...
TheDrifter 24
But is great fun trying.
Nekogami 14
I
ChristineAnn58 8
What's with all the animal pictures O.o
Teyros 24
Cats are the shiz-grizzle!
Gestpacho88 12
I never understood why anyone would cheat. If you're not happy in a relationship, just leave. Don't destroy the possibility for someone else to have a relationship.
SirCharles83 13
Because people are greedy scum bags who want to have their cake and eat it too. I'm slightly bitter.
Jumpingmal2 7
Mmmmmmm.... Yummy cake
GhostChickens 17
I never understood why people would cheat. If you don't want to be with someone, don't be with them. It's extremely disrespectful to cheat. I'd rather be dumped than cheated on. I wouldn't want to be the "other person" either. If you can't commit to one person, don't be in a monogamous relationship with them. I hope you kicked the daft twats out of your life, OP.
GhostChickens 17
Sorry, I basically just repeated the comment above. I didn't see what had been said until it was too late. Ignore me, I'll just crawl back into my hole.
MidnaLink 35
Actually that was better than the previous comment. This kind of relationship crap is EXACTLY why I don't want to be in one.
Fanain 2
Not all relationships are like this. At all.
cicpjaky 6
Somebody needs an ass whopping