Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML
Today, I tried to microwave a leftover burrito. I forgot to remove the foil it was wrapped in. The microwave went into overdrive in a dramatic display of sparks, the fire alarm went off, and I had to convince the neighbors at my door not to evacuate their apartments. I still haven’t eaten. FML
Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML
Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I made Christmas dinner. I live in a block of flats, and I was cooking for two hours. The smoke alarm went off after 10 minutes, but it's so high up that I couldn't reach it to turn it off, so I had to fan it off every five minutes, then five minutes later it would go off again, and so on. The neighbors complained. FML
Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shutupwinking 0
a bowl over the smoke detector prevents this from happening.
katie_6098 0
i wanted to sneak a toaster into my dorm but this is why i never did. my roommate had a panini maker though, we made grilled cheese with it haha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (28)
xxsakuraxx 29
Why didn't you just try to put out the fire? Idiot.
CyberGothic 16
It never occurred to you to pull the plug at the first sign of trouble? Too bad there's no "Common Sense 101," eh?
GreenReaper 13
Actually, both can be correct. Toaster strudel are the ones with fruit stuff inside (strawberry, apple, blueberry, etc). Toaster scrambles have egg, cheese, and a meat (bacon, sausage, etc).