Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML
Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because he has anger issues. Tonight, my tires were slashed. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
Today, after two months of being broken up, and my ex still insisting she hadn't been cheating on me, I declared via text my intention to burn the rest of her stuff in the yard. This resulted in the guy she "hadn't been cheating on me with" kicking in my door. FML
Today, I blew a tire without money for a spare, had to have my ex come get my kids, drove home on three tires, and possibly fucked things up with my girlfriend beyond repair. My girlfriend is the only person keeping me sane, and I might lose her. FML
Today, out of pure desperation and loneliness, I went out with my ex-boyfriend. It ended with him hitting me and driving off with my car. He's in jail now. What was I thinking? FML
Today, my ex claimed she missed me and asked me to come back, but when I gave her a polite and firm no, she turned nasty and keyed my car. Apparently, what she actually missed was someone mug enough to pay 2/3 of the household bills, while looking after her badly behaved brat whenever she didn't want to. FML
Today, my ex stole my car keys. Good news is she can't drive stick. Bad news is she set my car on fire. FML
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Top comments
_Domster_46 16
Report it to the police and get a restraining order, that bitch sounds crazy to me!
cutycat136 28
Keep an eye out. She might be back to try that again op.
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Comments (83)
lysx84 24
If this were the other way about (guy trying to slash a woman's tyres) the internet would be in an uproar. I hate that this is deemed 'normal' behaviour for women. Shit like this makes us all look bad.
keyofdestiny13 24
I'm glad someone else said it.
sorasaveshyrule 16
No, that's really not normal no matter what the gender of the psycho is.
Dexter83_fml 17
This is criminal damage. I hope you report it to the police
96isntassexyas69 20
At least you caught her before she did any damage.
mshitauro 10
did you have it coming???
ftw_mann 6
what the hell did you do to piss her off?
Matheo_fml 21
As long as it is not your throat she slices...
booze_n_bitches 37
How has nobody mentioned this "tires" fiasco getting through moderation? TYRES! Please!
booze_n_bitches 37
Oh my bad, didn't realise it was an Americanism! My infinite apologies OP, I spoke too soon.
gintwinsmoore 20
I do hope you can get a restraining order on her crazy ass!!!
HighasaCloud 46
Shouldn't have broken her heart you insufferable douchebag. What? Why are you assuming OP didn't deserve it?
Gillett 23
Woops, call the cops!