Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML
Today, my dad rejected my birthday present to him because it was "Made in China." FML
Today, a kid from school came to my house. He asked my dad if I was at home, because we were "planning a bit of the old, you know…" and made an obscene gesture. Now I'm grounded for a month, and no matter what I say, my dad won't believe that I've never even spoken to the kid before. FML
Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
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Top comments
littlemonster94 15
Ohhhh the ignorance of people sometimes
DocBastard 40
Seems your father was born during the year of the ass.
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Comments (107)
lOl147_fml 8
Chinese New Year was today........
bishbosh 7
You have to factor in time zone differences. Plus it's still Chinese New Year and its festivities will last for fourteen more days (it's the 11th here).
docscientist 10
Sounds like your dad in this case is a good example of the Dunnkng-Kruger effect.
fmlforreal92 8
why is intelligence so rare?
ohSNAPyall 27
Tell him it's the Year of the Snake. That'll convince him that you're not making it up.
Fletchdads 9
The south...
Pandamonia88 9
Wow, there are so many FMLs like this, I don't understand how a parent feels justified punishing their child just for the sake of their own ego. Never mind, once you grow up and leave home you *never have to talk to them again* sun nien fai lok ¬_¬
Satoaoi 13
so the new standard for parents grounding there kids are because there smart. what's the world coming too
mavman79 5
Obviously you get your brains from your mum OP.
AngelSpit 18
Thank god my mother is intelligent
Kalipczo 21
That's the kind of thing immature parents do.. My mom does the same thing when I'm right and she's wrong but wont admit it.