Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
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Top comments
Killz268 18
she's had a little too much of mommy juice lol
Cads1 24
She was drunk, stop being so insecure and give her a break.
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Comments (61)
heyLaddieHey 18
Drunk people are weird. Don't take it personal. Maybe she thought you were still 6 or something
mainegurl0704401 5
Last time my dad got drunk he told my younger sister that he never liked me in the first place and that I was a crazy cun* that stole all his m&m's.... No more alcohol for dad .
worldclassrager 41
Do you really need to question this? I believe you would know if you had any siblings...but everyone has a skeleton or two in their closet...
Alyxi 20
don't ask when she is sober.... I haven't really told my kids about their sister that passed away either and they don't remember/know to ask.... I know I am terrible and expect negative votes but I STRONGLY suggest not asking.
awesumous 16
You have to tell your kids, they deserve to find out from you!!!
mergeterge 24
Don't worry too much, OP. People say weird things wen they're drunk. One time my bf was taking care of me and I guess I kept asking where an old roommate was the entire time. I thought she was there but we haven't lived together in over a year! Oops.
awesumous 16
She was drunk, ignore nearly everything she says when she is drunk
bradoiler 15
your nicer then me OP i woulda have totally screwed with her
zarrganaut 17
Oh she's just drunk. Don't worry about it, op.
roselysunset 12
When she was sober the next morning, I asked her. She denied everything that happened... I should of videotaped her. Maybe next time.
ravenlyn 3
your mom should check out Alcoholics Anonymous.