Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Today, I went to pick my daughter up from school, only to find that a contractor had parked his car across my driveway. After squeezing my car out, I went to drive out of my street, only to find it had been blocked off. I drove in the other direction to find that a bulldozer was blocking the other end. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!
xlol_fml 0
What an overreaction o_O
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Comments (383)
thatCanadianGuy7 0
why would your parents buy you a new BMW when you would probably just spill the bloody contents of your giant douchebag all over the upholstery?
U_idiot 1
That's what you get for being a prick. No car deserves to be keyed. I hope they take it back to the dealer and never buy you anything ever again.
YouSoDeservedIt 0
This is what you get for having no respect for peoples property. Fortunately lady irony was there to smile on your so deserving dumb ass. Although this probably really isn't an FML because your parents will just pay to have it fixed like I'm sure they've done with all of your other mistakes in life (too bad they didn't coat-hanger theirs) which is probably why you're old enough to graduate but you still act like some pre-teen moron.
tha_artist 0
Ur an idiot
AdamGD 0
I think i moderated this one! It seems familiar
eliz3 0
What type of idiot sees a car blocking their driveway and then KEYS it as a result?? Did you not consider asking the owner to move it, or if not possible, leave an angry note then get the **** over it? You're an idiot.
albinoV 1
Partially? You couldn't have gone around?
RitzyHoke 0
Despite having loads of comments, I still HAVE to say how much you deserved it. You suck.
anthrodraco 0
That pained me to read that. But seriously? YDI. Don't be an asshole and take revenge.
omgitsawaffle 0
I despise people who are pathetic enough to key cars. I hope it's REALLY expensive to repair. Asshole.