Today, I came home from working twelve hours straight. Feeling rather frisky, I attempted to seduce my wife upon arriving home. She said that sleep was better than sex and went directly to bed. It was only 6:30 PM. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to work late. Due to delayed trains and a missed connection, it was almost midnight when I finally got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I found my girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie and fast asleep. FML
Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML
Today, after working a 24-hour shift I was finally able to get some sleep. Not even an hour after falling asleep, I was woken up by my drunk husband humping my leg. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I got home at 6:30 after a 12-hour shift. I sat down on the sofa, and my wife immediately stomped in and said, "Why are you sitting doing nothing? Get up, there's a million things to do." FML
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, our daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid-blow job. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
Rejected. Maybe you should be better in bed? Or maybe it was just one of those days for your wife? Idk, lots of explanations, but unless you haven't gotten any for weeks this really isn't an FML.
mattmag 0
So take a nap with her, cuddle and whatnot, then **** when you wake up.
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Comments (128)
mcsnelly 5
#64--Actually you WERE saying EXACTLY that it's basically a friendship if there is little sex. Going back to your original comment, you specifically talked bad about people only having sex once or twice a month. That would be little sex, not no sex. How about YOU understand your OWN point so I don't have to spell it out for YOU. And maybe you misunderstood me when I said some couples don't depend on sex meaning they show their love in other ways, TOO. (Meaning they do have sex, they just don't feel like they constantly have to have do it to prove that they actually love each other).
findthecure 0
ahaha, sorry to hear that, but i really love my sleep so i don't blame her.
mehwhateverr 0
She was tired. Get over it.
AngelRaven89 0
Monica of course you have a healthy sex drive if you are 20 years old. Come back in 20 years i doubt you will be thinking the same thing. Not that i know from experience, i am also 20 lol but yeah.. anyhoo.. OP just go on a date with Palmala Handerson to hold you over.. xD
mehwhateverr 0
Someone earlier said it's SELFISH and RUDE to not have sex with their partner if they want it. Isn't it SELFISH and RUDE to try to force it on their partner, if their partner doesn't want it?
mcsnelly 5
#70 is totally right :)
monicamischief 0
@ 66 this is from the post where i said that: "um, no, you cannot have a good adult relationship without sex. sorry. without the physical part of a relationship, it's not a romantic relationships. you're just friends." saying WITHOUT refers that they never have sex, and that is exactly what i meant. this was speaking to another issue than this FML is about. it is not my fault if you cannot understand what 'without' means. learn to read before trying to agrue, please. and @ 70 i never said that he should force or rape her. duh. isn't it SELFISH and RUDE to make your boyfriend listen to you all the time if he doesn't WANT to?
mehwhateverr 0
no, because relationships NEED communication, whereas people can go until they're married to have sex and be just fine. besides, if you're with your partner JUST for sex, then you're using them.
monicamischief 0
no, they will not be JUST FINE. why do you think so many people get divorced? waiting until marriage is NOT a good plan but that isn't the point here anyway, considering this FML is about a married couple. so while i could continue to argue this point, there would be no point in arguing it, considering it doesn't apply to this situation. besides, i think you failed to read my comparison. there would be communication. there would just only be deep communication twice a month. apparently, that's alright, if the boy doesn't' FEEL like listening to his wife or girlfriend whine and bitch about her life, considering it's alright for her to only give him sex when she feels like it. sex, for most men and some women, is more than just a physical connection, but also an emotional one. denying sex to a male is almost exactly like denying a woman time to whine and bitch and talk about the relationship (even though it isn't necessary to do this every day) and who said anyone is just with their partner for sex? where did is say emotional connection didn't count? i never said that. just because i said sex is necessary doesn't mean that nothing else is.
12bee195 0
you people stil havent gotten over it yet jesus!!! okay so she was tired and wasnt in the mood to have sex the guys that keeps saying that hes not good at having sex how the **** do you no that have you hav butt sex with him or somethn jeez and btw whoever said that is rude not to have sex with someone or something like that i bet you havent even had sex and your problay like 40 or something haha 40 year old VIRGIN haha!!!