Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Weird_situations 13
Tell him to get the **** out of your country then!!
CinnamonBunny 16
Shut the **** up, #35.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
braunerzucker58 10
Der war wahrscheinlich sehr frustriert, weil er kein Deutsch konnte. Es tut mir leid, dass er ein Arschloch war.
simsgirlgem 25
If he was America I apologizes for his rudeness OP
kellyem2 20
And that's when he starts complaining that nobody will help him. Some people....
SmuggletheBudgie 15
Wrapped in barbed wire.
Bentonic 11
I sincerely apologize, I swear that not all of us Americans are like that.
Omniprism 15
I assure you that most of us would never do that. And I apologize on his behalf. And thank you for trying to help the asshat who didn't appreciate it.
JMichael 26
Them damn Americans. Always thinking their country is better.
strike2867 13
Yell as loud as you can that he just insulted the local soccer team.
skittyskatbrat 19
Well, now you know why we kicked him out of the USA ;) Please, please do not send him back. Convince him that North Korea is lovely this time of year!
KrDizzy 16
I like how you all assume the tourist was American because they were speaking English. You do know that the US isn't the only country with English as their primary language, right? Smdh...And WE are supposed to be the dumb ones lol.
Nyx_fml 23
Well, I guess everyone is just smart enough to read OP's name.