Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
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Top comments
Weird_situations 13
Tell him to get the **** out of your country then!!
CinnamonBunny 16
Shut the **** up, #35.
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Comments (100)
blurose 6
Please don't let him back into our country. If he is going to act like that then we, or at least I, don't want him back here. Send him somewhere else!
WaBrewer 11
I'm an American and that guy is what we call a douche.
TheCowCollector 2
Plot twist. The tourist was from England
fmessiah 19
read the name man, read the name.
aishaa1 15
Smh what a racist person.
flashback_fml 14
A white guy that speaks english doesn't necessarily make him american
UbuntuElphie 16
No, but the OP's name ("thank u usa") makes a convincing argument. Perhaps it was the accent that clued OP onto this idiot's nationality (then again, I guess the tourist could have been from Canada. Personally, I would need more than just one sentence to be able to spot the difference)
UbuntuElphie 16
Although, I haven't met many Canadians who use the term, "pal".
toooldforthis 19
I've been in America my whole life and I've never heard someone say "pal" either except on tv.
Joedbag 8
On behalf of Americans that do know how to behave properly, sorry you had to deal with him.
Specter445merc 2
That guy is a ********
thefastnfuryass 14
That guy was a ******* dumbass, and know that not all of us Americans have that stupid mentality and I've been to Germany before and I am dying to go back! Rep from Seattle, WA
ninjalovin 8
Hate dealing with such tourists. What a brat, definitely the wurst.
slipknot6sic6 10
Not all Americans are bad... :(