Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
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Top comments
Weird_situations 13
Tell him to get the **** out of your country then!!
CinnamonBunny 16
Shut the **** up, #35.
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Comments (100)
CliffyB03 28
This is why Americans hate Americans. I'm sorry that our country is full of idiots :(
MeAnd 9
Give him the wrong direction. LOL
KrDizzy 16
Could have easily been a Canadian tourist...The Canadian tourists I've dealt with here in the US have been extremely rude.
Nooblah 15
Yes, it may have been a Canadian except for the fact that OP's name is ''thank u USA'' Being Canadian, I take offence at the fact that you're basically trying to stop people from generalizing Americans, yet you're saying that because a few Canadians were rude to you, all 30+ million of us are rude? Just a bit of a contradiction there don't you think?
worldclassrager 41
Germany is great...just had a few too many bad experiences I guess...
1947Chevy 17
As an American I can honestly say most of us are full of ourselves. I hope you don't think we are all that way.
FMLMaximus 23
Not all Americans are like that. I would be thrilled to visit Germany. I've never been out of the country. Also, I would like to say that although I am an American, I do not like that my country spies on everyone. Our phone companies release recorded phone calls and messages to our government and apart from not having a phone there is nothing we can do.
Brinejar 3
To be fair, as a German, I can confirm that this country indeed is a total shithole, and that the accent is, in fact, not only cheesy but borderline insufferable.
animalxcrackers 20
What a douche. Why do so many Americans complain about visitors not learning English before coming here, yet dont learn the language before going to another country? Isn't there a term for that? Ugly American Syndrome, I think. ugh. OP, please don't judge the rest of us based on this idiot.
FlyingPie 17
'Murca!
sanecatlady 13
Any country that makes the most amazing chocolate in the world while the stuff made over here tastes like dog feces can't be ALL bad. :)