Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML
Today, my coworker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I found out that my neighbor's son is supposed to be giving me gas money for driving him to school each morning. He's using it to buy drugs instead. FML
Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML
Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML
Today, at the daycare center that I volunteer at, a 5 year-old boy asked me, "What do you do when you really want something?" I told him to try his best to get it and give it his best. He ended up stealing from the donation box and when he was caught he said that I told him to do it. FML
Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML
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Top comments
jillytc 23
just teach him all the wrong words, so instead of "where is this place" he says "I am a ********"
rocker_chick105 31
Because this is so much worse than the racial slurs of the 1950s
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Comments (125)
cats400 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hate this generation....
rocker_chick105 31
Because this is so much worse than the racial slurs of the 1950s
_GoodGuy 11
Don't worry, this generation hates you too.
DREAMCATCHERoooo 4
I hate to sound old and judgmental but its true. I am unfortunate enough to live near 4 different high schools and the kids just seem mean spirited, ignorant, and rude.
junkman6 22
Yeah because the generation that threw all the Japanese (maybe I should say "damn japs" to make the sarcasm more blatant) into prison after Pearl Harbor had their shit together! Pull your head out of your colon #1.
TheCanucklehead 22
Yes 24. Because kids from back in the day were never mean spirited, ignorant or rude.
khaoticpanda 28
So many downvotes to a reasonable comment. He didnt say it was worse than any other. He was honest.
Sports_guy3 28
Say your very busy and can't.
FML4ever323 3
I prefer that one
Somuchart 3
Alright, this guy may be a ********, but I don't think what he said was that bad. I have a Japanese friend and it sounds like something I'd say.. To me it seems like this kid actually wants to learn a bit of Japanese but doesn't want to admit it. Maybe he thinks it will be cooler if he turns it almost into a joke. It's stupid to be embarrassed about something like, that but a lot of people are. This alone doesn't make him a bad person.
justagirl1998 10
You are in this generation-.-
Pinwheel 10
I wouldn´t want to teach my mother tongue to someone who tells me he goes on a trip to europe and I should teach him because I speak european...
KatieMajestic 17
#86 #1is not this generation, but part of it along with millions of others.
unjustlychicken 10
god im hard.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@80, your comment basically sums up to "I'm not racist, I have a Japanse friend". Guess what? It's still racist. Whether or not the guy OP knows was trying to be funny, it was ignorant. If anyone would rather come across as racist than admit they want to learn something, they really need to sort out their priorities.
unjustlychicken 10
.
jillytc 23
just teach him all the wrong words, so instead of "where is this place" he says "I am a ********"
Ms_ValS 27
Do what Russell Peters did. Say whatever the sentence is in English, but the way a stereotypical Asian person would. Any race would be fine since all types of Asians are the same to him apparently. Mimic Russell if you want to speak "Indian".
hugozac88 22
Then they ask me why I'm a smart ass with kids
sarkaar 30
@52 : I presume you missed the segment on the DVD where he says, "There is no language called Indian. So I have no clue what the **** you're talking about".
sirsquab 12
I would love it if someone could teach this kid like mandarin or Korean or something.
Ms_ValS 27
62: That is why I put Indian in quotes. Two of my very best friends are Indians. Tamil is one language Indians speak. Urdu another. Hindi yet another. You basically missed my whole point and the irony is, you're Indian!
712sash 26
#52 - More like "How do you say hello in Indian?"
littlepoose 8
oh my god, yes!
mb2_native 15
71, I think you're one of few who use the term Indian properly, people tend to call me Indian when I'm Mi'kmaq/native/Lnu (whichever you prefer) and I get a kick out of people who don't know haha
Sansa_fml 38
Great idea if OP really speaks Japanese. he didn't mention that so yeah. :p
CrassKal 27
Why do you HAVE to teach him?
Arokthis 21
He didn't say he had to teach the moron, he said he has to be around him.
zeffra13 31
The "have to be around him 5 days a week" is because they go to school together, not because he agreed to teach him anything.
lifesuxrealbad 10
Well that guys an idiot.
184886837272837 32
I know a girl who thought Korea was the capital of Japan. I swear if Jeopardy purposely picked people like that who were really dumb it would be a lot more entertaining
KawaiiCupcake 14
Some people our age are total retards and don't know shit about geography. If he's going to a country he has to know what's the language called and where it is! I would gladly take his place and appreciate EVERY minute of it! He need no get EDUCATED!
Axipiter 24
60, if Jeopardy did that, it'd be called Repo Games.
dodo116 16
Nah, she'll be right mate.
olpally 33
What an asshole. Don't teach him anything. If you do, teach him the wrong thing.
license2chill 5
Teach him something that will get his ass kicked
xx000o 27
Teach him something like "I am a terrorist, and I want to hurt a many people as possible." Tell him it is an everyday greeting to be shared with everyone he meets. That should get him an extended vacation, and you won't have to deal with him for awhile.
Sirpence 9
Someone needs to go back to 1st grade
Rozay333 36
Wow! Some people can be so ignorant. Sorry, OP
AnthonyWheeler15 24
God I hope you aren't helping him.
hghrider123456 9
Tell him that you do and teach him how to say things like "I'm a douchebag" or "I randomly pee myself"
ObsessedWithMe 13
you don't HAVE to be around him. suggest Rosetta Stone instead of wasting your time with this ********, OP.
magiczebra 9
OP never said they were gonna teach them. It says they go to school together, and I'm pretty sure that's 5 days a week.
ObsessedWithMe 13
and I'm pretty sure I didn't say op agreed to teach him. odds are if he asked once he'll ask twice. if OP simply suggests an alternative said ******** would be easily avoidable henceforth.
Jose73 8
Not that it matters, but the Japanese rossetta stone is famously really bad
triplebeerox 27
#81 I've heard that Rosetta Stone is actually quite good but in order for you to learn a foreign language you have to work on it for hours every day . People buy Rosetta Stone and don't use it as often as they should.
lylotrezor 20
I don't know, if I were to buy something that expensive, I'd make sure I study the hell out of it.