Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started a new school, after moving from England to New York. People only talked to me just to hear my accent. FML
Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were, "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
Today, and for the past 13 months, I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
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Top comments
Weird_situations 13
Tell him to get the **** out of your country then!!
CinnamonBunny 16
Shut the **** up, #35.
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Comments (100)
howdoilogin 9
Give him directions to a gay bar.
christiana11 5
apologies from the US, we all have our assholes, and this guy was one of them
kwojahn 3
I can tell you not all Americans are like that. I'm sorry that he was an assistant hole. He is why Americans have bad raps in other country's.
magickitten 26
Laughing too much at 'assistant hole' - autocorrect?
cryssycakesx3 23
those damn assistant holes.
Dashelle 25
I truly hope he wasn't an American. If so, I'm so so sorry on behalf of the rest of us.
perdix 31
That's so dumb. Wouldn't it be a scheiss-hole?
perdix 31
Actually, any type of stone would have been good to use on that asshole tourist.
zombiekitten87 12
The tourist is probably that guy that bitches about all them Mexicans not learnin' proper 'Merican speak. At that point I would have laughed in his face and said "good luck" before walking away.
TheCowCollector 2
It doesn't say the tourist was American dumbass.
aire101 16
#94 - Read the username dumbass.
zombiekitten87 12
@93 - seconded 119.
xLIGHTS_fml 23
In my opinion Germany is way nicer. I'm German but I moved to the states ever since 6th grade. Not saying that there aren't rude people in Germany.
Ambient25 25
Especially a sharp one
xvigil14 9
And this is just one of the reasons why the rest off the world hates the US