Today, I busted my ass to help this old lady move her stuff because she was going to a nursing home. I was told I would get paid. When I finished four hours later the lady took me to a room and told me to pick out anything in her little goody bag. I got a race car as payment. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML
Today, after a weekend of helping my sister-in-law move out of our house, vacuuming and mopping her bedroom and bathroom for her, scrubbing her walls and cleaning her shower, transporting her furniture, and getting her carpet professionally cleaned, to cover costs she offered me $14. FML
Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML
Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML
Today, I decided I'd sell an old motorcycle I had, in order to help with the bills. I had to be at work at the time when an interested buyer was to show up, so I entrusted my mother with the exchange as she's unemployed. Mom pocketed the money and bought a new freezer for her house, and won't pay me back. FML
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
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Top comments
thunderbrave 0
vroom vroom
redbluegreen 41
And there was absolutely no way you could turn this story to attract girls?
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Comments (233)
thuryn 2
#164 / naysay: That's *recursively* stupid. "Payed" is not really an acceptable spelling. Even if you find it in the dictionary, that doesn't make it correct usage. Example 1: If you put "definition payed" into Google, it asks you, "Did you mean 'paid'?" Example 2: If you look up "pay" on FreeDictionary, it specifically lists PAID as the correct spelling of the past participle of PAY *in this context*. "Payed" is only correct in a different usage (letting out line or cable). "Payed" can also mean "to coat or cover." It is incorrect to use "payed" when talking about money. Example 3: The site maintainers agree, because the OP has been corrected to show PAID. So I say again: Stop defending a mistake. It's stupid on top of stupid.
ZuRG_fml 7
#164: bahaha, the grammar nazis got so bad in derailing this FML's comments that admins had to step in. awesome.
thuryn 2
Bah. It's not as if FML comments have a track they're supposed to follow in the first place. They're mostly Internet noise of near random content and value anyway. But the rules for moderating FMLs say not to approve FMLs with spelling/grammar errors or with TXT-speak, so it's not unusual for the admins to fix the OP. "All of this has happened before, and will happen again."
dayslikethis1 0
Have you seen the movie "Yes Man"? It could be worse.
naysay91 0
Thuryn, this is my last comment to you. Get a life you old idiot. I didn't defend a mistake. It's been determined that you're an epic dumb ass, I never said that 'payed' was correct. You're trying to insult my intelligence and I have an I.Q. of 180, so that's not going to work. You're just an idiot who needs to learn to process what you read.
thuryn 2
#169 / naysay91: If you're so smart, then you know that Intelligence Quotients are dubious measurements of intelligence at best, and they are no gauge of judgement or wisdom at all. The fact that you have resorted to touting your test scores and calling me names only shows that you are well aware of the fact that you have been proven to be an idiot and you're upset about it. Not my problem. Also, you're a liar. In comment 127 you specifically say that "payed" and "paid" have the same definitions when, in fact, they don't. I pointed this out, and now you're all pissy. So call me names all you want. It doesn't make you any smarter.
neuroseizer 0
You should have just helped her and not expected anything.
unflawless_fml 0
why do u even need to be paid for something that should be charity?
mac_fml 0
she told you that you would get paid so you would help her, because she probabally knew you wouldnt otherwise. then she tried to be nice by offering you a race car because perhaps she didnt have any money to pay you. and you are bitching about it. for shame.
KitteySniper 0
Well, you could have walked in for payment and she had her clothes off! Haha, now that would have sucked.