Today, I broke up with my fiancé after he cheated on me, and he now refuses to move out of the apartment. I'm even contemplating just offering him my Xbox One as a bribe so I can get him out of my life for good. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to make the most of his 1 month X-Box Live coupon. FML
Today, I found out my partner is cheating on me with several women. I broke up with him but he won’t move out without legal action (he is staying in my apartment), so I’m literally stuck being around him. He’s been very toxic and petty since I found out. I just want this to end. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, claiming moving in was a bad idea and he is the type who needs his privacy. It was his idea to move in, he had to convince me. Now we are stuck, under lease together for the next 6 months. FML
Today, I went to see my boyfriend with the intention of breaking up with him. Instead I discovered that he lost his job today and has to move back in with his parents. I can't bring myself to dump someone who's already crying about his horrible day. Now I have to comfort my soon-to-be ex. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend playing games when we have 5 million things to do, but the bastard picked me up, put me in the hall, shut the door in my face, and barricaded it with the sofa. I texted him, threatening to break up unless he opened the door; he texted back to leave my key behind when I left. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I canceled my Gamefly account. Seems that was the only thing keeping us together. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to spend alone time playing FIFA instead of having a relationship. If I ever find the CEO of EA Sports, I’m throwing hands. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThunderLightTSV 31
He'll have to sleep sometime. When he does, move his ass outside and lock the door.
Tripartita 45
It's moments like these I'd heavily consider the possibility that I'm living inside a Microsoft ad, OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
tigerisabelle 31
Soooo this may be *slightly* illegal, but here's my idea. Pretend like you forgave him. When he trusts you, cook dinner. Put sleeping pills in the pasta sauce and have him eat a bunch - guilt him into eating if you need to. He'll pass out. Get one of your buddies to drive him to a motel room or the like, make sure it's hundreds of miles away. Prepay with cash so it's anonymous. Put him in the bed there, dump all his stuff in the room, and leave a note (all caps or typed) saying if he ***** with you again, he won't wake up. Make sure to wear gloves at all times so your fingerprints can't be traced. Meanwhile, you need to get a döppelganger to take your passport and be in another part of the country so that your alibi is rock-solid. Follow these steps exactly and I guarantee he will not mess with you again.
domolovesyoshi 33
You're awesome.
NoThanks999 19
And tell your family to play along, extra believable.
izzajaneful 24
Can you get a hotel room without a card on file for incidentals in this day and age?
MandieL 27
I'm sure there are "hourly" motels that don't require a credit card.
vimmy77 8
Let's write film scripts together!!
tiger820 20
holy shit you scared me with this!
Lct1196 31
Unless it is solely your apartment, and you aren't renting it together, then you might have to be the bigger person and move out first. Even though he is a complete jackass, he still has a right to live there.
English_Dave 3
Who's name is on the papers for the flat? If it's your name then you can call authorities. I'd say let him have the xbox (PC gamer here) and come join the master race :P
chewsef 17
He sounds like a real winner. If only I could get kicked out of my house..
mattwhite 13
You never sacrifice the XB1 for someone who is too childish to accept his fate. Call the non emergency police line and have him removed for trespassing.
Red_140 5
Call the police or just move out. You'll find something to make this right op
MBrabs1996 22
If your name is on the lease, I believe you or the land lord has to give him a months notice and if he doesn't get out, call the cops
soulreaper12296 28
Based off how OP worded it, and the fact that they were engaged; then most likely both of their names are on the lease. And if that's the case there's nothing she can do, unless he either does something that violates the lease, or OP is the one who moves out.
Kandie_baby 2
Wait till he leaves then throw all his stuff out and maybe "accidentally" break some of his stuff.
dashes 3
If it's your apartment, just call the cops.
Eleora 19
No, not the Xbox! D,X