Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after working on my novel for two years, I found out that another book has recently been published with an almost identical plot. I was going to submit it to a publisher in two days. FML
Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML
Today, I went to a book signing by my favorite writer, but I was so nervous that I forgot what I wanted to say, and ended up blurting out something completely random and embarrassing about the hat they were wearing. FML
Today, I received a book about sailboats. I'd ordered a book about makeup. FML
Today, I gave the guy I've been seeing a copy of my newly published book, because I know he loves writing. He started reading and commented on how amazing it was. Then he gave it back. He didn't realize it was a gift. My awkward self didn't correct him. I'd written him a sweet letter inside. FML
Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
Today, my biggest form of entertainment of the week was when I read a blunt, scathing, brutally honest review of an absolutely horrible book I read a few days ago. I need a life. And better books. And friends with better tastes in books. And a bonfire to toss this book into. FML
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
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Top comments
LacyWings 3
Well I hope things get better for you.
tigrouficele2012 44
...what book was this? O_o
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Comments (196)
mariet_fml 23
ಠ_ಠ I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
SarahPicc 3
I thought that was from Mein Kampf... My bad, guys.
AndrewN16 6
Boobs are boobs so u cantq go wrong
PinkFun1969 9
Great boobs, I have great boobs. smile
jayejayejaye122 3
Hmmm... Did Peter griffin wrote that book?
taternuts 0
be better
unillenium 6
I agree with #118, mediocrity has become too celebrated.
denvan 0
"I wish I was a better size (hehe size)"
ManicGypsy 22
Yeah, it seems like vampires and wizards are the way to go in the writing world right now. Even annoying sparkling vampires sell lots of copies. Maybe you should write a book about wizards who sparkle or a wizard-vampire school. You could make millions. (And if you do, I want a million for coming up with the idea, lol!)
patrickalamo 48
It is not about you. Give the consumer what they want!!