Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I'd finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML
Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML
Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, while waiting for my job interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML
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Top comments
charvisioku 22
Someone should have lit the fart - a ballerina gliding through the air with a fire trail coming out of her arse would be a magnificent sight to behold.
RaveBlade 4
Well at least you were able to continue without pain afterwards?
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Comments (123)
viagradoesntwork 7
It's ok OP we still love u
wheresthebeef69 4
Good one bro
2RaRa25 6
Left that audtion with a bang, didn't we, OP? I'm betting you left a GAS-tly impression!
SPRKY 6
I bet her performance stunk!
lambda_fml 40
So did you get the role then, or were they put off by the fart?
Catkam623 27
Did you keep dancing or just freeze
Enslaved 38
Great! Now the Family Guy Fart Song is stuck in my mind!
covertamerica 11
Go Washington!!! North Seattle. ;)
gc327072 31
Why would there be particles? Unless this is a pornographic ballet, in which case I need to know where to get tickets. Imagine the pamphlet.... Part II: Lé suite du boobé
buckdharma 38
Perhaps they weren't familiar with your level of expertise. you were merely trying to passe de poisson.
poccocurantes 7
Blame it on the tuba section. that's what I do.
poccocurantes 7
Of course depending on the timber of your toot you may have to spread the blame around the horn section.
zombieslayer83 19
Don't you mean silent but deadly!