Today, I asked the girl I'm madly in love with out to dinner. When she asked me if I would pay, I jokingly said, "Well, that depends on how the date goes." She looked me up and down and said, "No thanks then." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML
Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, I asked a girl I liked what she was doing tomorrow night. She replied, "Cleaning, so nothing really." I then asked her out to dinner. She declined. FML
Today, I took a girl out to dinner. Halfway through, she sighed and asked if it was all an episode of Disaster Date. FML
Today, I asked the girl I am in love with out on a date. She asked me for my name. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with a girl I've been talking to for 2 years. She is my dream girl, picture perfect and I love her with all my heart. So I asked her, half jokingly, if I was her dream guy. Her reply? "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer of." FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
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Top comments
grahambertus 11
Guess she can't take a joke. Must not be the one. Sorry OP :(
mjoyn98 1
At least the money you would have spent on the dinner can go towards a girl with a sense of humor !
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Comments (173)
geod69 8
Guess the jokes on you
bubo_fml 11
Forget her...She's a dough Ho!
bubo_fml 11
The best answer? "If you play your cards right, I'll let you super size it, Baby!"
bubo_fml 11
The best answer? "If you play your cards right, I'll let you super size it, Baby!"
homiechas24 3
Well that ain't the best pick up line on your part YDI
jazzdab 3
Now you know what type of person she really is. Count yourself lucky.
Locoluis 15
YDI, fool. YOU asked her out, not her. Hence, YOU pay for the dinner, not her. That was an awful joke anyway.
Karlos118 0
At least you tried to be yourself. It's better that happened now as opposed to getting to know each other a little, only to realize it won't work. Better luck next time!!!
1crabbygirl 10
Threatening on a first date = not funny. Let her get to know you first next time. Or maybe you aren't cut out to pair up with an alpha. there are lots of omegas out there, OP.
help_us_lisa 0
Maybe you should play cause you're a nice guy? Not threaten her into giving you a good time. Pig.