Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as usual, I went to pick up my brother and sister from school in the rain. When we got to my truck, I realized I had locked us out. We had to walk home in the rain, only to find the spare house key had not been put back in its spot since the last time it was used. FML
Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I finally got up early enough to get to work on time. I arrived 15 minutes early only to realize that I'd left my work laptop at home. Ended up being 30 minutes late. FML
Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML
Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML
Today, my brother "borrowed" my car and keys without asking me. He came back 4 hours later, alone and pale faced. It took half an hour of questions, interrogation, and finally threats before he admitted that my car is sitting in a ditch a few miles away, probably totaled. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
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Top comments
tranced_ 45
This is when you break into your own house and surprise the crap out of your brother when he gets back!
zedjaleaf1 11
You should've told everyone EXACTLY what your plan was, hope you get in safely.
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Comments (24)
blackrose1996 11
Window?
CaptainSolo3596 7
At some point I guarantee this is going to happen to me
Red_140 5
Time to hit the club
RosesThorn17 7
This is why you always take a set of keys with you everywhere you go. I keep mine in my purse/wallet at all times. You can never trust housemates/family members not to screw you over and take your keys.
HanBanana15 9
That sucks, OP. That being said, don't you have a way to break into your own house? Or a spare key?
lordgimp 6
You arrived at 8? Then you were late. You're expected to be on the job ready to work at starting, not just getting there. and if you're all packed up and ready to leave at exactly 5 you had to have stopped a good 10 or 15 minutes early to wash up and get ready (change your shoes, whatever) to go home. So you're cheating your employer out of a good 20 minutes to a half hour of work every day. You deserve all the bad things.
AlbertNeinstein 10
Why did you not have your keys on you?
Manual_Manoosy 21
Cool story bro