Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to stop her preschooler from playing in the kitchen when I'm cooking dinner. She bitched about how I'm "controlling and micromanaging". As she did so, he put his hands on the hot oven and screamed in pain. She then shrieked that it was my fault he hurt himself. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
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Top comments
nitsud82 14
Your mom is either a robot, or the pan wasn't that hot. hard to say which without more info.
_Hakuna_Matata_ 12
What a badass.
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Comments (20)
nitsud82 14
Your mom is either a robot, or the pan wasn't that hot. hard to say which without more info.
CerealBro1 13
Well, assuming that it was only hot because it was just taken off the stove, then the mom yells for a minute, it could feasibly have cooled off enough in that minute
faifai_fml 21
Also keep in mind that people who cook a lot tend to develop what I call teflon hands; the nerves are less sensitive, the skin is a little tougher, and you can handle higher temperatures. Mom's probably been cooking (and washing dishes in very hot water) for many years. Doesn't mean that she has to denigrate her son for being less inured to the heat, though. There's never a good reason to tear down somebody that you love.
_Hakuna_Matata_ 12
What a badass.
hfnsjsnsjzns 18
its beyond a badass
wanted_2_want 40
Was it only me that I first read pussy princess instead??
FairyBlue 7
Didn't even realize till you pointed it out
Benopero 8
That’s not a mom. That’s Satan.
Dave_Davington 34
Your mother seems to be a very insecure person.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Moms are strong as hell. They have powers that only they know about.
Nadine 21
Your mom is metal af
Charlie Given 28
I thought I had a high pain tolerance turns out I had neuropathy for most of my life she should have herself checked out by a neurologist 🤔😟
Mooglefox 24
Does she like having 3rd degree burns?
Johnny5 16
And if her hand isn’t horribly burned then she was right princess