Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I got a talking-to at work from my new manager for eating other peoples' lunches. Immediately afterwards, I watched my manager leave the room, take MY lunch, and begin eating it. Apparently my new manager is the thief, and I'm now the office pariah who gets the blame. Nobody believes me. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Today, after I packed my lunch last night and put it in the fridge, I grabbed my bag and left for work. At lunchtime, I opened it and found an empty container. I'd packed the container but left the food in the fridge. FML
Today, I knew my coworker was stealing my lunch, so I made a sandwich with tons of incredibly spicy peppers. He took a bite, shrieked in pain, and ran off sobbing. Unfortunately, he was also in an emergency meeting with an important client, so now my whole department looks like a bunch of morons. FML
Today, I went to work. All day, all I wanted to eat was my favorite cheese, which was waiting for me at home. I came home and someone had eaten it, then put the empty wrapper back in the fridge. FML
Today, there's a food thief in our office who manages to steal from the fridge without being caught, and everyone keeps blaming me, probably because I’m the fattest. I have a gastric band and can only eat a few mouthfuls before being full, but still people think I’m stealing entire bags of food. FML
Today, I have been victimised by a lunch thief at work for months, despite numerous complaints to management, so I exposed the thief by lacing my curry with that old classic, laxatives. Even though my coworker was caught brown-handed shitting himself, I was the one suspended for making him sick. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
evanvoss 20
Step 1: Poison your lunch Step 2: Take his position Step 3: Profit
UsagiArwen 23
This would be the part where I'd have to sit down with my boss and have a serious conversation. Because that's a load of crap on your boss's part.
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Comments (85)
allforfun 23
I still would have complained, but to HR.
corky1992 33
This makes me think of Friends lol
littlefoott69 14
I know someone who cured this problem with a cat shit sandwich ..problem was solved quickly hahhaha
grunt_fml 17
This requires a follow-up. I really want to know how the boss reacted.
Mike3258 18
make him buy your lunch, and every other lunch you probably had to buy. then, report him. personally, I'd just punch him really hard, but I don't suggest that whatsoever.
aelarol 5
Just put onions in the tuna salad leave in the hot car for 2 days then make a sandwich. Hard to prove you deliberately gave him food poisoning. Eat peanut butter sandwiches from your coat pocket until vindicated.
ulissey_fml 22
If you need to make a strong case just don't forget to put dessert in the lunchbox. The proof is in the pudding.
Tuffay 14
Put a couple drops of LSD in your sandwich and enjoy the show. Just make sure he eats it all, or make sure you get rid of anything left. I know, not cool, but **** him!!!
StarkWolf_fml 23
it says "NO TOUCHY"!
hardcorepunk87 18
Boss makes a dollar I make a dime That's why I poop on company time ??