Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML
Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
goldensh0wer69 3
Whatever, math is hard.
gracehi 33
I have that app. Show him how to lower the math difficulty setting on the alarm... I don't doubt your ability to figure it out, but your brother is clearly too stupid to do it himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
zyme 11
The answer is square with rounded corners. The answer is *Always* square with rounded corners.
beaute_fatale 5
i agree my boyfriend has the same alarm and if he would ask me how to solve one of his problems id be worried !!!
gardenwhipped3 14
tell him that the application has a failsafe. If you rinse it with water, it will shut off too.
WolfieTheBadass 9
Whoa... Must be a awesome app if it's able to get both of you up~
Baller_Bob 17
Turn it off and then wipe it on your ass and balls
telli164 30
Calculator app?
HahaNoGoAway 11
I used to have this app but it was useless because the second it went off I promptly shoved it between my boobs and wrapped my self back up in blankets.
unholyswiss 19
Due partly to my insomnia and lower tolerance for fuckwits I probably would've broken his phone and told him to **** off. And if he really wanted he could look up the solutions to them himself, if he's too incompetent to do that much he shouldn't have a phone either.