Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML
Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Keevarou 17
Tsk tsk, some people, just tell them straight that you are indeed British and such. Not your fault that you talk the way you do, some people like to notice the smallest things. I hope you are not self conscious about the way you talk.. Good thing it was not worse though, they could have commented the way you walk or something Or the way you breathe
BFons 19
What a wanker.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
ulissey_fml 22
The first time I stayed with a British family, the mother kept correcting me because she thought i sounded very American; the first time I had an American friend, he marvelled at my British accent. I was born and grew up in Paris, but they won't believe it, because now i have the accent of South-West France (Toulouse). I don't care, and you should laugh it off. Plus I'm sure a girl will fall for your accent, like in "a Fish named Wanda" ;)
Enslaved 38
"It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!" Love that movies. (: You do realize Kevin Kline's character faked his accent, right? :P
Enslaved 38
Isn't calling it a "British accent" the wrong term anyways?
andyyroxx 20
Yeah, I think so. Stupid bellends they are.
NurseAbi 10
No such thing as british, there is English (as in not Scottish/Welsh/Irish) then regional ones.
SmosherMe 6
It can be british accent. But more recognised as an english accent. Just some people will say british so no one confuses it with american.
noelasis94 18
Even the beatles didn't get to do there own voices in yellow submarine so don't take it to heart
CharresBarkrey 16
They didn't WANT to. They were only in the very end to fulfill their contract of appearing in it.
Sunkistlover718 21
Carry a copy of your birth certificate around with you? No one will be able to argue the validity of your accent ever again.
madnessyoucanhum 4
I don't understand the "accent spotting" I have lived in the USA all my life and I've been to quite a few places here, my accent is non-existent or a mixture of quite a few. People picked on me for not fitting in. The long rambling point is, why care? Unique is better than anything, I would laugh at people that try to say you're something else.
maosquare 18
Honestly, there's no such thing as "no accent". Everyone has an accent.
TheNewGuy03 29
52, I was gonna say the same thing. I'm American, but if I go to New York or whatever, they will say I sound Southern (which I am); likewise, if they go to New Orleans, they will be out of place. Oddly enough, I'm often told I sound like I'm from the North. I've also come across a fellow Louisianian who spoke with an English accent, so ... there you have it.
gmian 34
81, I learned English in New Orleans, and I had a very weak southern accent. Most people there thought I was from the northeast USA (I wasn't even born in America). When I moved to New Jersey, half the people there couldn't understand me because of my southern accent. Just goes to show you.
TheNewGuy03 29
Yeah, that whole dialectic inflection hodge-podge thing is pretty crazy. I suppose I have traveling to thank for nearly completely ridding me of any Southern accent I may have had.
rachel_h 14
Haha wow. Im American and I love talking in a british accent!! Although I'm not good at it. Haha
enormouselephant 15
It usually comes off as obnoxious from obviously fake, young American girls.
maosquare 18
What is a British accent? Also, what is an English accent? Enlighten me please.
SmosherMe 6
A British accent is what british people have. And An English accent is the same thing.
maosquare 18
If you think that British equates English, I'd assure you that many people would be offended by it.
SmosherMe 6
How so?
fruitslut 11
Thats weird. This not the first time this has been reported here on FML and sites like notalwaysworking.com. Is there such a prevalent condition of no education like the states have? It's almost a though your folks have taken on the anti-educational stance that is running wild here. I'm guessing your accusers had bad grammar and dressed like Chavs.
fruitslut 11
By the way, I was kinda embarrassed when Madonna was doing the fake British accent thing. I wanted to slap the crap out of her. You could tell it wasn't the result of living there long. I have a friend who moved to Australia 20 years ago. Last time I saw her, the mix of California and British slang cracked me up. She was a good sport and laughed about it too.
CharresBarkrey 16
After such an offensive, stereotypical comment like your first one, why the **** would we care about this?
ZombieSazza 34
Ignore them. My ex had a very British accent and I personally thought it was sexy as hell, so just ignore the jealous bitches.
luhar 7
Wow that reminds me of the scene in How I Met Your Mother where lily puts on that fake British accent and the gang make an intervention for her. But seriously, FYL and tell them to shut up!!!
SmosherMe 6
I love that episode.