Today, for the second time this week, I was asked to stop putting on such an obviously fake "British" accent. I am British and have lived here all my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I spent a full hour working on my British accent. FML
Today, my mom mentioned how she loves a certain actor's "British" accent. I couldn't help but mention that there's no such thing, and that there are lots of different accents in Britain. She got pissed and lectured me for "lying" to her and trying to make her feel stupid. FML
Today, a customer asked me if I was English, because I was struggling to understand what he was saying. I said yes. He then called me a liar, and said I must be "one of them Polish immigrants." Oh, and he also had a thick Scottish accent. FML
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
Today, while my hometown mayor becomes a world-famous crackhead and douche-bag, here in the UK it has come to this: when people hear my accent and ask me if I'm American, it's less embarrassing just to say, "Yeah", rather than admit I'm Canadian. FML
Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML
Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, I went through a fast-food drive-thru and gave my order in a perfect British accent for fun. When I got to the window, the cashier handed me my food and said, "I love your accent!" Caught off guard, I replied, "Oh, thanks a lot!" in my normal New Jersey accent. The confusion on her face was priceless. FML
Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea for me to talk with a British accent during my job interview to make me sound smarter. I'm applying for a job at McDonald's. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Keevarou 17
Tsk tsk, some people, just tell them straight that you are indeed British and such. Not your fault that you talk the way you do, some people like to notice the smallest things. I hope you are not self conscious about the way you talk.. Good thing it was not worse though, they could have commented the way you walk or something Or the way you breathe
BFons 19
What a wanker.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
Alycat6363 15
If I had a British accent, I'd never shut up.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
Jusgemental locals...
waschaffer 5
Putting british in quotes makes it seem like it wasn't a british accent... Just kinda a pet peeve "when" quotes are used incorrectly :)
A_nonny_moose1 28
There's not really such a thing as a British accent given the hundreds of accents you find in Britain, so the op was just pointing out that the term is a misnomer I guess :)
Bloodangel456 12
56-What do you think we talk like here?? And we're not all addicted to tea
lowshadows 21
even the Brits will say its fake lol.
Satoaoi 13
you justhave a light accent not everyone has a heavy British accent. youknow what you are that's all that matters
DelphiCat 17
Just so we're clear, there is NO SUCH THING as a 'British' accent.
ErinPinelli 24
Get over it
TrilliousDivine 9
So Brits actually know amongst themselves that they have accents? I thought it was one of those things ppl dunno bout til somebody, an outsider has addressed it. If I had an accent I wish one would tell me wht I sound like.
interesting33 37
Depending on where you live in Britain you have different accents and dialects. There are different ways of saying things. We can't always understand each other if the accent of one person is thick. :) Not many people actually speak in the stereotypical Cockney accent Americans put on when pretending to mimic an English accent.
provei 11
I live in Boston, and it's pretty obvious when someone here has an accent, even to the people who live here. I generally pronounce my Rs but have difficulty distinguishing between words with a certain sound, such as "chair" and "cheer", which is another aspect of the accent, so I get made fun of a lot, or people don't understand what I'm saying.
NurseAbi 10
Where do you live? Don't you have a regional accent? Mine is bristolian mixed with london and welsh. I sound odd sometimes! Lol!
xRezSynn 15
If you, yourself know that you're British then it's fine! :D
carlistar27 10
People always tell me to stop faking an English accent but I am not, I have a speech impediment that just causes me to talk with my voice that I have