Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Man's gotta have his biscuit
Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to get him a cup of coffee and a biscuit from the convenience store. They only had sausage biscuits. When I returned, he shot me a dirty look, ripped out the contents of the biscuit, and ate only the bread. FML
Filling
Today, I have a busy day of college work ahead of me. I figured I'd best have a good breakfast. Then I realised I'd completely ran out of food except for various types of sauces and condiments. So what am I having for breakfast today? That's right. A nice cup of Gravy. FML
Today, I woke up early for an important team meeting I needed to attend. I washed, got changed, and sat down to eat breakfast. I then woke up again, an hour late and covered in cereal. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Parenting struggles
Today, after I worked 15 hours yesterday, coming home at 1 a.m. thinking I could sleep in because my kids have no school, I was woken up at 7 a.m. because they wanted pancakes. FML
Today, I woke up and poured myself a large glass of orange juice from a carton and took a big gulp only to realize it was liquid eggs. FML
Invisible Woman
Today, I accidentally overslept and missed a morning breakfast at work, one I never get to have when it happens. Not only did my boss say nothing about me being absent, he even asked me if the food was good. FML
Breakfast of champions
Today, my mom had me and my little brother make pancakes for breakfast. I had to let the dog out of the house to go do his business, so I had my little brother wait there and told him not to touch anything. I came back 5 minutes later, and there were cracked eggs in the almost-done batter. FML
Today, for breakfast, I made a butter sandwich. I'm that broke. FML
Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML
Top comments
kyjp 0
next time, get an alarm clock
Livinia 11
Damn.. makes me hungry just reading that.
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Comments (107)
jkrupili12 0
haha dumb bitch
erocketship 0
Yes, yes! dumb bitch.
DownWithSebster 9
Why is this an fml? I mean, does it really matter that you missed breakfast?
lamescreename 0
who has time to make all of that for breakfast anyways? you must have slept a looooong time.
rhpsfan9 10
That does suck. You should cook yourself a big lunch or something and not share.
User1518 6
And no pancakes?
Jake0928 2
Sleep>Food
coolcatgarcia 0
It's because no one likes you.
AwfulAddy 0
awww no Sharing :(
neongurl98 10
your family is evil!
EZ2XLR8 7
You're old enough to wake yourself up, it's not your families responsibility. It really frustrates me how you expected them to wake you up. It's really irresponsible to not be able to get yourself up in the morning. I refuse to wake up my 17, 14 and 12 year old sons, they miss school or events, it's their fault. My 8 year old son can wake himself up. No parent likes to wake up their child. Get an alarm clock, go to bed earlier, don't stay out late, have a curfew, there are plenty of things I can come up with that could wake you up in the morning. I've been waking myself up since I was 7, and Im 35 now. You snooze you lose. YDI.
dellama10 0
Wow, congrats on those high marks from high school. I'm extremely impressed. Would you like a cookie? Op never implied that they expect their family to wake them up ALL the time. Maybe it was op's day off and he wanted to catch up on some sleep. If the breakfast wasn't planned, it's not op's fault.
EZ2XLR8 7
Wtf does school grades have to with anything? "Cookie" Seriously? My 12 year old can come up with something better than that. It doesn't have to be implied. I'm a Nurse Practitioner, I know all about sleep, I spent 6 weeks on this subject. If OP had to catch up on sleep, than maybe they're staying out late doing something unproductive. If you need more than 8 hours of sleep a day for any given reason (excluding medically induced or disorders) than you're oversleeping which is making you more tired and than can cause unwanted medical issues. I work long hours from 8am-10pm and I manage to get 8 hours of sleep, even on my day offs, and I work night shift also. The average adult only needs 6 hours. There shouldn't be any excuse for lack of sleep. If there was baking involved, it sounds somewhat planned. But OP nonetheless should have woken up themselves when everyone else was getting up.
froufrou7 3
ta yeule toer criss de parents mangeur danus de tabarnake. va don te faire mettre par ton jeune de 8 ans.
dellama10 0
the high marks was in reference to the earlier version of your post in which you talked about the high marks you got for writing a paper on sleep in high school. and if your 12 year old can do better, maybe he should be commenting for you:) I really doubt that you are a nurse, because if you were you would know that the need for sleep varies greatly depending on the age and person, and 8 hours is considered normal for an adult. if OP is a teenager, which is very possible given that it appears he lives at home with his parents, then according to many psych studies he should be getting an average of 9.25 hours a night in order to promote healthy development and deal with hormonal changes. and since you want to nitpick about baking meaning things were planned, most people get their fresh bread from a nice bakery. or if the mother/main cook had planned to bake, they may have forgotten to inform OP.
dennis96411 12
So if there was a fire, and your children are sleeping, you would still refuse to wake them up? I see what kind of parenting you're going with this.