Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to tell me he couldn't take it anymore because my legs were too hairy. I shaved yesterday. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were telling each other secrets, so I told him I shaved my upper lip. He said, "I know, it's prickly when we make out." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Melly_fml 0
get a real man
csigabajnok 0
A day-old bristle is a mean bristle y'know!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
NordicFailure 0
Am I the only one reading "Bloody Hell" in Ron Wesleys voice?
NoodleBurger 0
Not at all, that's rather hilarious that you did, because I did too! Hahaha! o/
nutmeg2x4 0
LMAO, I did that too!
authorkid 2
no, i read it in my cousins voice...my uncle married a british chick that already had kids and they talk cool
SayPeanuts 29
I did too!
RedRobinYum 0
You're not the only one.
ahc123 4
Haha u read my mind!!
Veryblueapple 0
What a loser! he's lucky he had your legs wrapped around his neck.
authorkid 2
definitely*
lationas 25
Bloody hell, what a whimp!
breadfuck 0
too true mate. I know what you're talking about.
countmystrides 5
I couldn't read this without a English accent..
Catkam623 27
Least you shaved
jazzmin1997 16
Well a man's face prickles too, so he shouldn't complain
ForeverJasmine 26
Get a real man since he obviously can't handle a little hair. That's so annoying when guys freak out! It's just hair and it's a natural thing.