Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
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Top comments
littlegolferboy 4
So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?
perdix 31
Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.
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Comments (93)
coffee_addict7 0
So... your only options were to put your penis in her ******, or not touch her at all?
FHGrif 0
This a MLIA not an FML
twirlingqueen4u 0
what does MLIA stand for
DippinGrizzly907 27
Let's use that weird grey matter up in our heads to think a wee bit... If FML stands for **** My Life what do you think MLIA stands for? The M&L are the same as FML. So it's My Life so far. I'll give you a second to figure it out all on your lonesome... And the IA stands for (drum roll please).... Is Awesome!!! So 'My Life Is Awesome' is the answer! You can go back to not using your grey matter now :) FML will now self-destruct in 10...
Subjectzero 0
you couldn't be assed to just go get a new one?
CallMeHush 1
Connect 4 is awesome !
jordynf10 0
what is connect four????????
staymintyfresh 13
What planet do you like on?
teenagedream13 1
*live
tigerg33 0
lmao connect four? you couldnt go to a store nearby and buy more condoms? guess you didnt really want sex.
S3A82 0
Why does this sound like an MLIA?
ScaryyMary 14
I was thinking the same thing :S
jw90 18
pussy is like a pair of shoes. try it on to see if it fits. but don't cum in it so you can't give it back. learn from that.
ForgottenRemix0 0
haha, 3 things man.... 1, your not determined enough!! GO BUY ANOTHER ONE YOU GOT A CAR!!! 2, you couldve played wit each other, and 3 , the car for your first time...really?
jadetothes 0
i hope for your sake that connect four is a euphanism ;)