Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, for the first time in a while I decided to wear a skirt. Everytime I sit down my thighs trap air and make a farting sound. FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
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Top comments
badboy6865 0
wow. i signed up for an fmylife.com account just so i could say this... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jayfx 0
oh my god..
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Comments (173)
36damien 0
ewwwwww
KisaChan_fml 0
I'm so sorry, crapping my pants in public is one of my biggest fears. It hasn't happened to me before, though. I don't think this is funny, it sucks.
mtsoccer35 0
bahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahah
ajgago 0
that is downright disgusting
dwights 0
18....wtfff do you drink laxative every meal?
Blind_Ninja 0
How can you not tell the difference between gas and having to shit? Sometimes, when I have to shit, I get really gassy and I know when gas is going to come out or when a solid is going to come out. I feel myself squeezing farts by shit just waiting for me to let it out. The only time you should be "accidentally" ******** yourself is when you just gotta go that bad and you can't make it to a bathroom. I've had a ton of close calls before. Also, sitting on something hard seems to help hold in poop.
yeah_me 0
i wouldn't know what to do! but thats ahhh-mazing!
Humanible 0
Shit happens...
gregthestrange 3
^truth okay OP, here's a little common sense tip, since you are obviously lacking it. if you have to push that hard to fart, it's never a fart. it's always poop. you should have known this already, but now you can't claim that you don't.
supersize_fml 0
You guys are stupid. More than half of the posts here are lies.