Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was working in the produce department at my work. A lady came in to return some mangos. I asked her what the problem with the mangoes was. She said she didn't like the way they were talking to her. FML
Today, at my job as a produce clerk at a grocery store, I had an entire conversation with my coworker about how nice the new cabbage boxes are. This is all it takes to thrill me these days. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML
Today, I went to the store to buy some groceries. While I was at the store, an employee came up to me and said, "You're beautiful!" When I came home I told my husband what had just happened. My husband then asked, "What was wrong with him?" FML
Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "I'm good" or, "I'm okay", I said, "I'm gay". FML
Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML
Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me as I was leaving and said, "Have a nice… week!" FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
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Top comments
tinyrosie 21
Well, at least he wasn't looking you straight in the boobs.
thatonegirlnic 10
Hey it's a compliment. For both you and the fruit. Bravo
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Comments (126)
thatonegirlnic 10
Hey it's a compliment. For both you and the fruit. Bravo
lex1459 38
At least he wasn't also buying a cucumber.
golden_warrior 23
I don't know 21, cucumbers are pretty healthy
jw90 18
21-then would he have said nice shaft?
Enslaved 38
Wait 'til "The Joker" in him sees your peaches and wants to shake your tree. :P
tanekdrachonae 19
Lovey dovey, lovey dovey, lovey dovey all the time. Come on baby now, I'll show you a good time.
martin8337 36
Don't forget to speak of the pompotus of love:-)
threer 30
It technically is sexual harassment, yes? Because she posted an FML about it so it's unwanted sexual attention.. It's not bad but it still is.
tinyrosie 21
Well, at least he wasn't looking you straight in the boobs.
Llama_Face89 34
I'm sure OPs **** are just gorgeous.
feroxletum 6
Too bad op is a dude
tinyrosie 21
Too bad it says she's female.
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Peter I'm holding melons,, a real family guy fan will remember this scene
jman26 11
Peter, I'm holding hooters
showmeyourears 19
You're wife is hot. *scurries away*
tman1985 9
I kind of get the feeling this FML was only posted so that this comment could show up
Dre27 20
Better than him saying "Hey your melons are looking a bit small" or "Wow those melons are a bit saggy, aren't they?"
svalaedgren 18
Some people would just rather not get comments on their body at all, especially when it comes to their breasts.
Dre27 20
#7, Jesus Christ, if you're going to be on a site like this you gotta be able to handle joking and shit, don't you think you're being a bit too literal for a site titled **** My Life?
asnakelovinbabe 16
I'm just over here... Wondering what the hell a saggy cantaloupe or watermelon would look like!
ElizabethNL93 20
9, you're comment should also apply to Xalandra.
threer 30
Here in FML we like taking shit too seriously. All the more conflict!
blinked_281 29
I feel like this is a compliment. maybe awkward, but you should accept it :D
Xalandra 17
Yes, all women should accept unwanted sexual advances and references as compliments.... how about no?
bfsd42 20
Nice pussy Xalandra!!!
Xalandra 17
Not sure you'd like her. Some asshole's dogs got loose and they trampled her to death on the sidewalk next to my house over a year ago, not sure you'd think she looks so nice now.
threer 30
No one should have to accept unwanted sexual advances, including men. Yes, it's wrong and shouldn't have been taken so lightly and without morals even within the FML community.
nightbirdblue 27
Unwanted sexual advances? What the hell is flirting then? Has everyone you have ever flirted with been interested in you? Otherwise you've committed sexually harassment by your definition multiple times. Harassment isn't just one incidence. It is multiple with knowledge of how you're making the victim feel uncomfortable. If we lay sexually harassment down in your standard, then everyone who has tried asking someone out, complimenting someone, and other such things without the other party interested could be defined as sexually harassment. No one could ask anyone out without fear of being slapped with a lawsuit because the other person just isn't interested.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Next time, just look him up and down and say... "There's just enough room to fit a small banana between them!"
kelseythompson 27
*cough* Or a small snake.. *lowers glasses* That's right I went there
asnakelovinbabe 16
LOL! That is hilarious to me because in my last profile picture, I did have a very small snake popping out of my cleavage.
Parkour_rocks 20
You made your boa a boa.
mashimarox 12
lol peoples way of flirting tgese days are really.. weird
golden_warrior 23
I just want to say, I love melons
annie_nk 23
Me too. I love how firm yet squishy they are.
lengi123 18
that looked like a dog and a tiger having a conversation together...
BugEatingMan 4
what's the big deal, either the melons are nice or your boobies. it's a win win who doesn't like juicy fruit
crymore007 11
"You coconut touch my melons" This is why I shouldn't be allowed to make comments. I shall see myself out