Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my best friend called me and told me she was in the hospital in labor. Excited, I rush to the hospital. Once I arrived, I saw my boyfriend of 4 years in the room. I asked him what he was doing there and my friend says, “You wanna tell her or should I?” Turns out he’s leaving me for her. The baby is his. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend and I are pregnant. This would be much more exciting if my boyfriend wasn’t the father of both. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, I had to drive the guy I've been seeing for the past few months to the emergency room. So that he could witness the birth of his newest child. FML
Today, I tried to make it right by visiting my girl in the hospital after she had our baby. I fucked up by freaking out and dumping her since I didn’t feel ready, but now wanted to do the right thing. When I got there, another guy was kissing her and holding my baby. My best friend/cousin. FML
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Top comments
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Now you can move on to better guys, who aren't douchebags! At least it isn't you who has his kid.
kerrwoof 13
What a good best friend you have... FYL. Now you'll be reminded of being betrayed everytime you see her baby.
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Comments (129)
smallshaft 10
Awe, I like babies. I don't like lying,cheating douchebags but I do like babies.
Enslaved 38
Ugh! Why must your name automatically make my mind wander in places I'd prefer it not to go? "Who's the black private dick That's a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT, (ya, damn right)" Saw "Two and a Half Men" with Michael Clarke Duncan as a guest star singing that song. May he RIP!
chris_a7x 11
Why do people think ydi? Idiots. Fyl OP.
lilhellian 27
Because they didn't use the Icheat.. Becuase they want the badge.. Because misclick..Because plain douchebags..
lambda_fml 40
You speak the truth my friend.
poccocurantes 7
Trust me, there are women out there thinking; "OP you deserve it because you can't keep track of your man." And to be fair there are guys out there that probably think she's a dumb bitch because her boyfriend was cheating on her. I have actually seen post like that since I have been on here and I am like, WTF?
lilhellian 27
Proof is in #6!
AshBash2211 14
You mean ex-best friend, right op?
lambda_fml 40
Bet you slapped that baby extra hard?! But FYI indeed.
lambda_fml 40
When babies are born the docs slap them on their arse to make them cry and see if everythings ok (or so I've heard). I was refering to that slap.
speckledots 29
I think they were referring to that saying when a baby is born you smack their bottoms to make them breathe. At least I hope that's what they were referring too. either way. Never joke about hitting babies. That is SEVERELY ****** up.
negb 30
The baby usually cries right away after being born. If it doesn't, they use an instrument to clear its breathing passway and then might pinch it or LIGHTLY hit it. Word your comments better...even though that was a weird comment anyways
desireev 18
25- Yeah, because the child deserves to be hit because its mother is a lying, backstabbing *****! Makes complete sense!
desireev 18
And, just for the record, doctors aren't allowed to smack the babys butt anymore due to CPS standards. They use an instrument to suck out all of the fluids. So that excuse for your comment is null and void.
cheshireau 26
You mean Ex-Best Friend right?
Enslaved 38
You never questioned your "best friend" who the father of her child was?
Dracoboxer357 36
27- Considering her BFF was banging her boyfriend at the time while hiding it from her, I don't think lying about "some guy she met at a bar" would be much of a challenge for her, if asked. :p Edit: Just read 29's comment. ;P
Enslaved 38
I don't think "BFF" stands for Best Friends Forever in this case. It's more like- Boy Friend ******! >.< She's probably Naughty by Nature singing: You down with OPP? yeah, you know me! You down with OPP? yeah, you know me!
2RaRa25 6
Some friend you've got there. Hope you ditched her. And #27, good point. Though, I could imagine the friend found it easy enough to lie if she had already slept with OP's boyfriend. What a homewrecker.
panda_lou 11
I suggest cutting them both completely from your life. Ooorr grab some popcorn and watch the freak show unfold. When she comes and complains like all us girls do simply laugh hysterically in her face, shove popcorn in your mouth, and walk away.
bakerella 29
What a stupid bitch. At least she has to struggle with the woes of being a single mom. Just disassociate yourself from the two and move on with your life. A "best friend" like that especially has no place in your life
poccocurantes 7
To bad you didn't know before hand. "No doctor, the chart is wrong. The patient requested natural child birth. She doesn't want any pain killers."
poccocurantes 7
For the ex, I would recommend OP prescribe lots of stool hardeners. He can't give birth but you could make it feel like he is.