Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
Today, at the gym, a guy yelled at me to stop lifting more than his son, because I was embarrassing him by being a girl and lifting more. His son must have been 15 and I almost qualified for the Olympics, but sure I’ll hold back to spare the feelings of a misogynistic 15 year-old little bitch. FML
Today, I was at the gym trying to work up the courage to ask a girl out. She was on the treadmill, and I thought it would be cute to wave hello. Instead, she looked horrified and sped up, then slipped and fell off the treadmill. She thought I was mocking her, and now everyone at the gym hates me. FML
Today, I went to the gym. Once in the changing room, I realized I'd left my headphones at home. I had to work out without any music, so I spent the next 90 minutes being reminded how loud and obnoxious some gym-goers can be. FML
Today, while using the leg press at the gym, some guy thought he could use more weight than me since I look really young. He hurt himself. He then blamed me and tried to get me kicked out. FML
Today, I was at the gym, when a pretty overweight guy started staring and eventually taunting me. Let me tell you, lines such as "Lay off the cake, fatty!" and "I can see your gut hanging out your ass, for fuck's sake!" don't exactly boost one's self-confidence. FML
Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML
Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML
Today, I went to the gym. This really fat and gross guy got on the machine next to men and I figured he'd hit on me but he didn't even look at me the whole class. Now my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML
Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML
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Top comments
Seabiscuit218 12
Because treadmills will go faster if you yell at them.
Welshite 40
Don't worry. The treadmill will keep him running in place, and he'll never reach you no matter how slow you run.
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Comments (50)
FluffyPandas156 13
Imagine Op was trying to run away, But soon realize that he is still on the treadmill
notesz 21
Well, he proved you right.
19990231 29
Pick your battles OP. Pick them wisely.
silencebabyy 23
Not sure how he heard you from the other side of the room with the machines going and weights being slammed down...Next time don't say your thoughts out loud.
Dynosaur_dollie 38
typically the weights aren't slammed down, and the machines aren't super loud. It could have also been a smaller gym, or op said it louder than thought, sounds like they weren't wrong though.
lulinator 40
Not sure which gym you go to, Planet Fitness? Cardio machines, especially treadmills, are fairly noisy. And there are always weights being slammed around, especially on deadlift platforms.
DArthurVaderian 18
If you are slamming the weight you aren't doing it correctly
vikky538 29
I read in articles... hamsters do same when we put them on wheel...
LumpyUnicorn 9
Don't worry... he's only mad because he's stuck with shrunken balls.
Jake_Dee 10
You should of asked how his day was going lmao.
Spadoinkle 10
Ha, I'd have loved to see that idiot yelling at the treadmill. You sure weren't wrong about him, though.
diving_fml 30
has anyone ever read the side effects is steroids? a common one is whitetail hearing. basically its supernatural hearing for humans....so yeah its probable that this is what has happened.
quarterbird 18
LMAO