Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, I was working as a ticket inspector on a train. A suspiciously-acting thirty something guy got on board with two huge bags. Worried, I kept an eye on him. I wasn't disappointed when he got 5 furry toys out of his bags and started to have a conversation with them. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
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Top comments
Doydle 0
Now, what did you learn? ;)
adelaide_evening 0
Hahahaha, that is hilarious. I agree with everybody else that it is a dumb thing to do, but I myself am fairly sarcastic and probably would've said it before I realized the repercussions that came along with it too.
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Comments (111)
birdfreak 24
no no! u no joke weeze ze frenchies! how dare u haz ze audacity to do so!
fmlizdabest 0
how can you think this is an fml? you totally deserve it
sweetblossom247 6
exactly!
polinka96 6
Those guys really take everything way too seriously. Be careful on joking around like that. I once got a luggage check because I looked "suspicious" in my dark hoodie, and they confiscated my nail file. It's pretty ridiculous...
BloodyMary666 24
YDI. Period.
MrJojobinks 6
You must be a stupid-ass.
1himfan666 0
Just goes to show...don't joke if u want ur trip
wmsdubstep 6
Learn the read the end part, asshole.
SookyTurner 4
Lol, thats epic as dude!
pippacrawford 4
That was funny, but you're an idiot and totally deserved it. Be glad you weren't in Israel. My cousin was at an airport there and started chatting to one of the security people about their job, just making general convo. They hauled him in for questioning because he was suspiciously curious. You never joke about that shit.