Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
brownbear16 0
forget these people dissing u!! i feel for u man that sucks.. i woulda done the same thing
skarlly 10
Well I get the anger on Op's part of course but why take a 5 year old to black friday? Thats just stupid
blackman100 20
You should've told the store, got him kicked out, and then taunt the asshole with your new xbox, the one he ws going to get
portablecupid 3
I can't even wrap my head around the fact that someone would physically harm a small child just for a discount on a freaking Xbox. You should move to Canada, our Black Fridays are a lot more civil.
N0vemberaccou_19 4
This is one of the few times on fmylife where I don't think OP is at all to blame. Sure, it's not good to hit people, but I don't think anyone can really be held responsible for that after their small child was assaulted by an adult. That guy deserves to be arrested for hurting your daughter, I'm really sorry.
s_bloodnozzle_iz 0
Wow what an ass hole. Being banned from best buy aint so bad when you punched a **** tard in the face. What kind of "grown" man hits a kindergartener?
musicmaster13 0
You shouldn't take your freakin 5 year old Black Friday shopping!!!
Vlamblam 1
Here is what you do: 1) Sue the guy. Get surveillance tapes from the store to prove what happened and to make the jury feel terrible for your daughter. Even if you punched him, you should just call it self-defense and you're off the hook. 2) Sue Best Buy for failing to provide proper security. They let a guy punch your daughter and then they let him get away with it and blamed you instead. The guy was then free to go and punch more kids and customers, and by punishing you they send a message to parents not to defend their kids when the kids are assaulted in their store. That will teach Best Buy to do a better job next time. What would it have taken them to review the security tape, seriously? 5 minutes? They deserve a lawsuit. Also, if you can get video of the incident post it on Youtube. You'll have the support of the entire Internet and the guy who did this will not have a single friend for the rest of his life.
Vlamblam 1
It's strange that I can't find news stories about this on the Internet. The press is normally all over these kinds of incident. OP, please get the video from the incident and post it to youtube.
stupid857976 2
You should have kicked that guy in his x-box.