Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML
Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I paid my daughter a surprise visit, only to see her husband beating her. I charged in and slammed him into the wall. She screamed at me to stop. They'd recently gotten into martial arts and were sparring, and now he's got a broken arm. FML
Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML
Today, my daughter had to deal with a Karen at her job, lost her temper, and punched her unconscious just to shut her up. Sounds like a good thing, right? Wrong, she pressed charges, got my daughter arrested, and she’s now facing years in prison for grievous bodily harm. FML
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Top comments
uprising_fml 0
what a badass . at least you avenged your kid .
Irishxoxo 2
At least you tried to defend your daughter.
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Comments (392)
benni74 0
lmao.. like a boss
hateevryone 15
who hits a child for a damn game? that just shows his level of ignorance. i hope your daughter gets better.
WazUpItzRyan 0
+10 internets for you. Its sad that people like that guy exist in the world.
pops120 0
You shouldn't have your 5 year old out on blac Friday anyways.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Who cares why the kid's there, the point of the fml is that A FIVE YEAR OLD GOT PUNCHED IN THE FACE!!!!!! But NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO, every other ******* comment is: "Why is a kid doing at a black friday sale?" "YDI for taking here to a black friday sale" Ok we get it, bad choice to take her. But maybe there is a reason why he took her? Like he didn't find someone to take care of her and he's single? Btw, "ydi for paricipating in black friday (or anything similar"? I hated black friday ever since I was a kid but there are reasons why he went to a sale, like if he needed to buy christmas presents when it was cheaper. But seriously, a 5 year old got punched and the guy got away with it, all because she was near an Xbox 360. **** humanity...
XavierMedina 0
Dude I totally agree.
smitii 4
Um press charges....
XavierMedina 0
Dude I think you did the right thing, he's lucky you didn't snap his neck.
sbjess 8
With the exception of shopping at Best Buy in the first place, you did what any father would do...hope karma catches up with that douchenozzle
twistedlovex 0
Douchenozzel smosh right?
twistedlovex 0
That's why you DONT take your five year olds to Black Friday people, it's CRAZY.
legojud 5
That dudes a butt for punching a kid I heard someone got pepper sprayed trying to get his grandson back :/