Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a wedding and I reluctantly joined the dance floor. As soon as I started dancing, I felt my trousers rip. Trying to save face, I kept dancing, hoping no one would notice. A few minutes later, I realized my silk boxer shorts were completely visible to the entire party. FML
Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML
Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML
Today, I was at a friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. Everyone cheered, until I slipped on the flowers and fell flat on my back. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, I had one of my biggest dance shows ever. After months of practice I had finally gotten the lead position. When I entered the stage and raised my arms my straps fell down and I flashed an audience of 5000. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s wedding, and when it came time to make a toast, I tried to stand up to make a speech. My suit jacket got caught on the chair, and I ended up falling flat on my back. The speech was drowned out by everyone laughing. FML
Today, I was performing for a fairly large crowd with my band. I decided it would look cool to stand on one of the speakers and sing from there. It did look pretty cool for a bit until I tried to step off and fell face-first on the floor mid-song. FML
Today, I went to a friend's wedding. While I was holding my four year old son, he managed to unclip the back of my dress and give the whole church a show. FML
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Top comments
MDoremis 38
A wedding isn't great until a father does something stupid.
WCARlover 35
I bet you made were finally able to be high pitched enough to make the "hee hee" sound MJ did.
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Comments (63)
Juicenub 25
That's pretty Bad, I guess.
Enslaved 38
Wow, I bet that made you Scream. Too Bad, You Are Not Alone and others will Remember the Time.
LunaRebirth 7
It Kind of makes Me Mad how you Spell Only Some words with Capital Letters.
Enslaved 38
The Way You Make Me Feel, will tell you to Beat It or do you Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'?
DFMLharsh 20
^ you are one Smooth Criminal.
91hayek 31
ayy Enslaved, bringing the heat! How old are you Luna?
fsomelife 26
I kinda wanna Scream that I Want You Back out of this thread, but the replies are a real Thriller and are making me Smile.
lifeofpie25 16
no balls no glory
DevilsMetsGiants 30
You may be embarrassed now, OP, but trust me you'll all be laughing about this in a few years and telling this story to your future grandchildren. It'll be a funny memory in no time!
MrDonSalvetti 27
Op, are you ok? So, Op are you ok? Are you ok, Op? Op, are you ok? So, Op are you ok? Are you ok, Op? Op, are you ok? So, Op are you ok? Are you ok, Op? Op, are you ok? So, Op are you ok? Are you ok, Op? Op are you ok? Will you tell us that you're ok?
meliodafool_ 15
aw nuts!
Dexter83_fml 17
He he shamone
lexos 16
Look on the bright you probably made them al laugh
buckdharma 38
Didn't people always tell you to be careful what you do. Don't go around yanking schlong frail parts.
abNormal62 23
I think deep down parents always remain competitive with their children, and fathers more so than anyone else. That's why they do stupid things at their children's wedding. But as a rule, it's usually impossible to compete in this fashion on that day. I mean honestly, how to do you "out stupid" their choice of partners? You sir, actually came the closest to achieving that goal than any other father on earth!